#also not being able to really enjoy leisurely activities between shifts is so mentally and emotionally frustrating

[manasurge]

lol I’ve been so physically exhausted that all I’ve been able to do once I’ve been home was just... lying down and constantly rotating stretching different parts of my body in different ways bc my muscles are just in that worn out that I can’t get comfortable in any way and only find temporary relief without contorting myself in weird ways for short periods of time.

It’s just a bit annoying bc I wanted to use my limited free time tonight to draw before I had to bed again for another long shift tomorrow, but alas I am apparently not allowed to have that luxury and instead am only allowed to experience unyielding exhaustion.

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (TW: language)

Words: ~3K

Summary: Lars has no idea what he was expecting the moment Steven texted him in the middle of the night to ask if he could come over, but being immediately tackled in an intense vice-grip of a hug the second he opened the door probably wasn’t it.

Set mid SUF.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to write Lars’ POV before this, but it was really fun! If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

____

Besides the quiet lull of the TV and the electric hum of the attic’s rickety old heater, all is silent in the Barriga household. The nighttime streets outside are vacant. Not a soul roams through his section of town, not even the newer Gem arrivals, who thankfully have been informed of humanity’s biologically mandated curfew by now. Sheesh, it’s about time.

After all, silence is peace. And in this day and age, in a world where the barriers between human and intergalactic politics are becoming increasingly blurred by the hour, peace is a gift.

Which is why having free time to play whatever old video games he wants in complete and total solitude at one AM is probably the single thing keeping him sane at this moment.

Lars’ fingers expertly flick at the joysticks of the controller as if by innate memory. It genuinely feels like forever since he’s been able to lose himself for hours in a solo campaign like this, and quite honestly, if given a choice he prefers it to any other leisurely activity. Chatting with his online friends or with that Gem gang of his is fun, sure, and working the counter at his bake shop can often be emotionally satisfying, but pushed too long and any kind of social interaction feels draining. He shifts on his bed, paying little to no attention to the slight chill against his bare chest. He’s pretty sure it’s like, near freezing outside and yet somehow it’s no more an annoyance to him than having to pause to reload an ammo clip in this game. It’s weird. Really weird. But then, at this point everything about his dumb life is.

It’s the Steven effect, he thinks with a soft scoff. Weird practically orbits him and his moms, and inevitably, every person he comes in contact with is brought into the fold. He’s a good kid, though. Don’t get him wrong. Steven always tries his best to be thoughtful when dealing with people he doesn’t understand— even when initially those people just act like dicks in return— and he for one is grateful for that, for the gift of a... a second chance. He knows full well he didn’t deserve it, (he still doesn’t), but he’s grateful.

The kid’s still on his mind when his phone lights up on the nightstand beside him, like the now familiar glow of Gems synchronizing to fuse.

(And goddamnit, does a part of him still balk almost two years later that it’s so normal to be casually relating everyday things to outer space Gem stuff anyways. What is he, with his pink hair and alien friends, the main character of an anime?)

Eyes skirt away from the grainy television set he’s been playing his favorite Immortal Combat on, and glance at the new notification.

Steven, the name at the top of the text reads. Well, lo and behold. The true shounen protagonist himself. Somebody’s ears must have been burning. Though, hmm. Come to think of it, that’s actually unusual. They pass bullshit memes back and forth sometimes, yes, but he never sends him anything this late at night.

Lars frowns, failing to obscure that annoying, instinctual worry that seizes him like the long lost sensation of hunger rising from the pit of his stomach, and scoots forward on his bed to grab his phone. What’s he want at this hour, anyways?

Steven: hey, sorry i know its late but can i come over ?

His frown deepens as he glances down at himself, clad in only a pair of boxers. He doesn’t mind having an unexpected visitor— after all, it’s not like he requires sleep anymore— but he’s not exactly dressed for company, here.

yeah but gimme a mo, he types back. kinda need to put on a shirt

Steven: k

Yawning out of sheer habit, he leans over the other side of the bed and grabs the first decent smelling tee he can find off the floor. It’s got an overlapping triangular emblem on it, a symbol from one of the game series he used to be obsessed with as a kid. He quickly shrugs it and a stray pair of sweatpants on, then returns to his phone.

decent now, he updates him.

The response is almost immediate.

Steven: be there soon

With a heavy inhale, he leans back against the headboard and begins to mentally prepare himself for the passage of One Whole Teenage Boy through the portal in his hair. For the most part he’s grown used to the changes caused by Steven’s literal magic resurrection, but not this. Who the hell knows how his pet lion puts up with it all the time. Quite frankly, how that creature has remained so docile and patient after years of interloping within Steven’s chaotic world of Gems eludes him, ‘cause it sure as hell isn’t a side effect of all the death-defying space voodoo.

Also, he’s like, 97% sure that “docile” and “patient” aren’t words anyone would pick to describe him at any stage of his life, ever.

And yet, yawning in his boredom, Lars waits.

And he waits.

And he waits.

And when eventually he breaks his stubborn streak and dares to check the time on his phone to see how many minutes have elapsed, how many minutes of his thrice-damned maybe infinite lifespan he’s wasted sitting up against the far wall of his room waiting for that kid to tumble right out of the literal inter-dimensional door hidden amidst the curls atop his head, he’s mildly surprised that his first emotional response to this delay is... dare he admits... disappointment.

It’s been nearly fifteen minutes. For whatever unknown reason, it seems as if Steven may not be coming over after all. Huh. He wonders what changed his mind. Pressing his lips into a thin line, Lars decides to check his texts. It’s possible the guy wrote something else and he just didn’t see it. But when he pulls up his latest conversation, all that comes up are the last messages they sent to each other. Be there soon, he said.

He hovers hesitant fingers over the keyboard, caught in the midst of trying to decide whether or not it’s too invasive and prying to send some sort of casual check-in, when he picks up on a very timid knock on the front door downstairs. And given the lateness of the hour, there’s really only one person it could be. He blinks for a moment, his mind still doing somersaults in order to process the mere concept of Steven not gleefully taking the opportunity to explode out of his hair for once in his life, and then drags himself up to his feet. Walks out of his attic room and down the stairs, being careful not to disturb his slumbering parents. Unlatches the locks on the door.

Truth be told he has no idea what he was expecting the moment Steven texted him at one fucking AM to ask if he could come over, but being immediately tackled in an intense vice-grip of a hug the second he opened the door probably wasn’t it.

He struggles not to stumble backwards at the initial force of the teen’s silent yet yearning embrace, eventually regaining his stability and... slowly, delicately... hugging him back. Honestly, he’s never been much of a hugger himself, but eh. He’ll give the guy this one. After a brief moment Lars gives him a few awkward pats, clearing his throat.

“Uh, Steven? You good to let go, now?” he asks quietly, still keeping his voice in a whisper for his parents’ benefit.

“Oh! Y-yeah, yeah,” his younger friend stammers, immediately pulling himself away. His eyes are drawn to the floor as he wrings his hands together. Timid. “Sorry, I just— I just needed somewhere I could clear my head tonight. Thank you, by the way.”

“No problem,” he throws back, gesturing for him to follow up the stairs. “‘S not like I ever sleep a wink now anyways. So I might as well have company.”

The two of them tiptoe towards the attic, a familiar setting for both. Steven’s been in here quite a few times before, so— already knowing the lay of the land— he plops himself down in the beanbag chair Lars keeps at the foot of his bed. They don’t talk about much of anything at first, merely passing back and forth brief updates about their lives. Small talk, nothing more. As expected though, Steven’s update is infinitely more interesting than his. Apparently he went on some mission to an alien planet with that Lapis friend of his the other day and had to deal with the attitude of some stubborn terraformers who didn’t want to stop working on their shitty old Homeworld assignment. (Meanwhile, the only update he has to offer is how he’s teaching Blue Lace Agate the art of bad baking puns while at work. Gotta leave behind some sort of legacy before he leaves with his fellow Off-Colors, of course.)

When the small talk finally dries up, (which seems... uncharacteristic, given the typical enthusiasm of his current visitor), Lars offers him a second controller.

“We can play the go-kart one, if you want,” he says, knowing full well that his friend isn’t a huge fan of all his war-themed combat games. Still, he figures the guy could probably stand to blow off a little steam. He looks super stressed, with his brow all creased and his stare unnervingly glassy.

The sixteen-year-old nods, adjusting his hands around the grips of the controller as Lars switches out the disk.

They race a few rounds in relative quiet, wholly insulated by the reassuring stillness of the night all around them, before Steven decides to open up again.

“Where do you think the line is?” he asks when they finish their current course.

His whole face scrunches in confusion. “Huh?”

“Between like, doing bad things, and outright being bad?” he continues, seemingly unaware of the comedic pulse of Lars’ initial response.

Lars blinks.

Considers these words deeply and thoroughly for a moment, as any good friend should.

And then...

“Where the heck did you pull that question from?”

Steven merely shrugs, his shoulders drooping a bit lower than they had been when he first entered his house a while back. “I dunno, just musing, ‘s all.”

The edges of his mouth curl downwards as he lets this corker of a conversation starter wash over him, not so much intended as a frown at Steven, but a frown at... whatever force of this universe would lead his friend to start musing about such depressing philosophical quandaries in the first place. Acting numb and brooding at the rest of the world is supposed to be his job, not this kid’s! And sure, yes, yes, yes, he knows he can’t exactly call him a kid anymore— at least not to his face— and that he’s been a teenager for a good three years now. It’s just that... well. For all his complaints about it earlier in life, Lars kinda grew to respect and feel uplifted by his cheery, upbeat, never-give-up-hope outlook. Dare he says, he kinda misses it.

(And for Steven’s sake, he kinda hoped he’d never discover the burnout and cynicism waiting on the other side. Alas, he fears that ship has probably sailed.)

“Sorry,” the sixteen-year-old mumbles upon noting his extended silence, his cheeks flushed with shame. “Probably not something anyone wants to think about at two in the morning. Just- forget I said anything, okay? Let’s play one more round, and then I can lea—“

Eyes widening, he holds up a hand to intercept that train of thought. “No, that’s— you asked an interesting question. Deep, but interesting. It’s fine, I don’t mind. I...”

He inhales deep, collecting his wits and whatever years of wisdom he may or may not have accumulated ever since dying and coming back to life.

“I suppose in my mind, people aren’t truly bad unless they intend to cause harm, y’know?” he begins, meeting Steven’s eyes. “You can still hurt others without meaning it, and like... that’s still not great, and you should still try and make up for it however you can, but... life’s complicated. People are complicated. It’s all a huge mess of emotions and ethics and beliefs all the time.”

He pauses, a twinge of melancholy rising within his chest as he catches a glimpse of a photograph hung on one of the wooden support beams at the far wall. It’s a selfie of him and Sadie he printed out a few years back when they were still low-key dating, one that— for the life of him— he can’t bear to take down. She’s kissing his cheek. He’s caught in the middle of laughter, playfully trying to nudge her away. They look... so young.

So naive.

(So human.)

“And sometimes it can be so, so easy to convince yourself that you’re always in the right,” he continues, quieter, “that people feeling hurt because of something you did is just their problem. In that case, it’s not that you wanted to harm anyone, it’s just... that you were blind to it, I guess.”

(And he was blind for a long, long time.)

“Like I said, it’s messy.”

Lars sighs, willfully averting his glance from the photographic reminder of all the ways he ignorantly fucked up with Sadie as a friend and partner, and with everyone in his life, making the same stupid mistakes over and over with nearly no improvement until he literally died to his old self.

“So, yeah. There. I guess that’s my opinion,” he mumbles, absentmindedly fiddling with the collar of his graphic tee. “Everyone makes bad choices sometimes, but you’re not actually a bad person unless you literally want to harm others. I don’t think people are bad once and bad forever, though,” he adds, pulling his hand away from his shirt.

Inhaling deep, he splays his palm wide, admiring those same old loops and whorls at the tips of his fingers, identical in every detail to his old, living, human self... but now pink. It's haunting, sometimes.

“People can change, y’know? If they make the effort to.”

When he finally glances back at Steven, he seems thoroughly spaced out by all his impassioned rambling, his gaze walleyed and void of any identifiable emotion. He scowls, unsure whether or not he should feel offended, and gives an exaggerated shrug to defuse the sickeningly earnest atmosphere out of this room.

“But hey, I’m biased,” he mutters, letting that instinctual, age-old self-depreciation coat his tone once more. “For all I know, everything I said could be absolute bunk, and I’m still just an asshole.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole, Lars,” Steven finally speaks up, his expression still perplexingly unreadable.

“I—“ His eyes blow wider, the sheer frankness of this comment catching him entirely off guard, overturning all of his once-impenetrable defenses. “...Thank you. I’m trying not to be.”

The conversation doesn’t advance any further from there, both parties content to fade back into the understated comfort of silent companionship. They play a few more rounds of their racing game, Lars beating Steven handily each time. (Truth be told, he’s not confident he’s bringing his A-game, though.) Then, sometime around three AM, his friend drags himself out of the beanbag chair and announces that he should probably head home and get some rest. Apparently he’s got a lot of planning to do for Little Homeschool's graduation ceremony that’s happening in a few days, or whatever. Which, is fair. Not everyone is blessed enough to be a sleepless zombie like him.

“Y’know, it’s been nice, getting to hang out, just us,” Steven says— quiet, but genuine— as Lars leads him back down the stairs. “We should do this more often.”

Purposefully, given the unusual emotional atmosphere of this whole visit, he decides not to mention the fact that he's planning to leave Earth again when his all Gem friends finally graduate. Later, he thinks, when everyone's in a better place.

“Well, if you’re ever bored, you know where to reach me,” he replies as they reach the bottom step, fondly rolling his eyes. “The good ol’ inter-hair-mensional express. Just, y’know— text me. And not during work hours.”

The teen gives his thanks once again, and then exits out the front, making sure to be extra gentle shutting the door on his way out for his parents’ sake. Huh. Seems that even when he’s (seemingly) in a funk, he’s capable of being uber courteous like that. Goodness, how does he do it?

Lars stands motionless at the entryway for a few moments after he’s gone, staring blankly at the now empty space the sixteen-year-old just occupied. His brow furrows, his fingers curling in perplexion at his side. He doesn’t have enough insight into Steven’s inner life to claim anything for sure, but he can’t help but feel like something with that boy was... off, tonight. Like, beyond your standard teenage moodiness. His demeanor, his bizarre and specific question, his relative silence... it all seems to be pointing towards something, lurking in the background. Still, there’s little he can do for a person who’s not volunteering information. And it ain’t his job to drag it out of him, either. He always hated when his parents tried to do that when he was younger, and it almost ruined their relationship entirely. That’s the last sorta scenario he’d want to force upon Steven. He’ll open up when he’s ready, in the end.

And until then... well.

He just hopes that the kid knows that— beyond the bizarre magic portal in that pink lion’s mane— he’s always got a brother on the other side who’s willing to at least listen. To be but a small source of support.

If he wants him to be.

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 21//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

Sorry this is later than usual folks! Busy schedule, but I’m determined to still post on Monday’s regardless!

XXX

I couldn't have been more elated than I was when Madja officially lifted my period of confinement and bedrest. Another couple of weeks flew by since receiving the news of Eris becoming the new High Lord of Autumn, and things were moving fast. After initially sending out invitations to our allies; directing them on where to send their armies and encouraging them and their entourages to come and stay in Velaris, the last thing I wanted was to be restricted to switching from my place in bed or ambling around the estate with little else to do while Rhys, Mor, and Clotho worked seamlessly to create adequate accommodations for our guests. Though we didn't have a palace like Thesan's to host them as he did for our summits, we had more than enough space for them with the guest suites I drew into the blueprints for the estate. However, neither Rhys nor Clotho allowed me to do anything while still in recovery—even when the first of the High Lords and their entourages began to arrive.

Helion was the first, with Thesan following only a couple of days later. With them being the closest to our court, they wasted no time in gathering their numbers and were in Velaris within days following their armies. They both marveled at how far along I was now, and especially at the impressively large mound my belly had grown to. Helion had cracked a joke about my size, which earned a protective growl from my mate and an earnest laugh from me. Thesan had been rather stunned and actually worried that I might go into labor at any given second; so, whenever we were in the same room, he watched me with wary eyes—afraid that any sudden movement might bring about the labor pains. He had reacted the same way with Viviane when she attended our last summit; using whatever resources he had at his disposal, like having every available midwife in the palace, in order to make sure she was comfortable and in case of emergency.

As our plans continued to move forward, I slowly and surely regained my strength with faithful reassurance from our healer that my health was flourishing. Finally, after an agonizing two weeks—where I grew more and more antsy and eager to jump into some kind of work, Madja announced that I was fully recovered and that I had officially entered the final stage of my pregnancy. With approximately two and a half months left, ending this coup was our crucial next step in preparing for our son. The last thing Rhys and I wanted was to welcome him into the world while simultaneously trying to quell the civil unrest in our court. With the threat having loomed over us since the beginning of my pregnancy and causing my mate and I great periods of stress and nearly cost us our son's life, ending Keir's act of tyranny would grant us the peace that was long ago stolen from us. Now that the end was in sight, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief—knowing that our chances of a favorable outcome was just within our reach, and then we could shift our focus back onto welcoming our baby.

Madja's announcement had come just in time as well. Kallias and Viviane were due to finally arrive this afternoon, along with their newborn Eira. With Helion and Thesan well-adjusted and working closely with Rhys, Tarquin also having arrived just a few days ago, Kallias and Viviane were the last of our allies we would host—Tamlin and Eris remaining at their prospective courts for now but sending their contingencies of armies ahead of them. The Winter couple had wisely decided to wait the longest in order to allow the bond between them and Eira to calm. In her letters following Eira's birth, Viviane explained that while she was recovering from the ordeal, Kallias's mated instincts caused him to shelter her and Eira for nearly a month. They were also adjusting to their newborn daughter, and as mates, both of their instincts sent them into a frenzy—their innate urges compelling them to shelter their child. The first three months had been critical, Viviane explained, not only for her and Eira's recovery from the birthing process, but also in learning how to parent their daughter while their natural tendencies ruled them. Over those last three months, their compulsions slowly ebbed back into a sense of normalcy and they were able to integrate themselves back into civilization.

Rhys and I understood that level of vulnerability in a mated bond, having experienced it ourselves during my own convalescence. It only made us all the more grateful that they chose to side with us to end our dilemma, and it also provided a safe haven for Viviane and Eira. Viviane was nowhere near ready to fight three months postpartum, and since she and Kallias still couldn't be parted with each other for long, she and her baby would remain safe with me while Kallias and Rhys worked together with the other High Lords when the time for the confrontation finally came.

"Mind already abuzz this morning, Feyre darling?" Rhys purred in my ear; the arm thrown over my waist moving to pull me closer while we lay in bed.

I smiled, letting him bring me closer until my back was flush against the hard planes of his chest. I lazily checked to make sure my mental shields were intact, having just recently been able to keep them in place once again, while his lips drew a lazy line of kisses from my ear to the crook of my neck.

"How did you know?" I asked softly, turning my head into his.

"I don't need to read your mind in order to tell when you're excited, my love," he hummed.

My smile grew with a quiet laugh that quickly turned into a soft gasp as he rolled his hips into mine. I breathed his name, ready to reluctantly protest until he reminded me that with my lying-in suspended, we were clear to resume our bedroom activities—as promised between a private conversation with him and the healer. Another roll of his hips had me nodding eagerly at his silent request. Our joining was slow and gentle—Rhys taking me from behind at a leisurely pace. We took our time enjoying ourselves, delighting in being unhurried and reaching our peaks at staggered intervals.

"Now we can both greet the day with a better sense of ease." Rhys said as he nipped at my earlobe afterwards, his voice still deep and husky.

I laughed and turned onto my back to face him, resting a hand on my belly as I released a deep and relaxed sigh. "We're really going to be okay, aren't we?" I asked.

He placed a hand next to mine, running it up and down the expanse of my stomach gently. "Are you having doubts?"

I paused in thought. "I've just...been afraid. I know the situation isn't as dire as it was with Hybern, but the stakes still feel so much higher this time…"

"That's understandable," he said as he looked at my stomach. "This time you're pregnant, and we do have more to lose."

I frowned, tears swelling and threatening to fall before Rhys pressed a reassuring kiss to my brow. "But we are going to be okay, Feyre. I have promised you from the beginning that we would make it through this ordeal together, and we have. We're so close, and Keir will be dealt with. Then in a matter of months we'll be holding our son in our arms knowing his world is safer," he promised.

I blinked away my tears, Rhys brushing his thumb along my cheek gently. "I love you," I whispered.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips this time. "I love you, Feyre," he said and moved to kiss the top of my stomach gently. "And I love you too, my son."

I loosed another long breath, allowing it to calm the last of my nerves as Rhys moved back to his place at my side. "Are you feeling well enough to have breakfast with the others?" He asked.

I nodded. "Should I scare Thesan by faking a few early labor pains?"

He threw his head back with a loud laugh. "You might just scare everyone, my love, including our friends who also heed your condition at all times," he answered.

I giggled and sighed dramatically. "That would be a little mean, wouldn't it?"

"Positively cruel, Feyre darling."

"All right, but I still want to find some way to torture Thesan, just a little bit."

Rhys laughed again before climbing out of bed, pulling me along with him as we began our routine in preparing for the day.

XXX

Eira was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.

She was technically the only baby, human or high fae, that I had ever seen; yet I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Viviane and Kallias arrived promptly after lunch; Kallias having safely winnowed the three of them to the main port in Velaris, where Rhys and I happily greeted them. A sleeping Eira was wrapped up in swaddling blankets, tucked into her mother's arms and I noticed this time it was Viviane who looked wary of her surroundings rather than her mate. At the summit, Kallias had been the one on high alert—his feral intuition heightened as a natural reaction to protect his vulnerable mate. Now it seemed their roles were reversed.

While Viviane was more than glad to see me, and even delighted in how much my belly had grown over the months, she kept Eira close to her chest the entire time it took us to walk back to the estate. Even now, as the four of us were gathered in the largest guest suite we had, Viviane was perched on the settee, cradling the baby close as she nursed—Kallias and Rhys in the adjoining sitting room to allow them privacy.

"She's so tiny," I breathed, marveling as I watched the small bundle in her arms.

Viviane brightened. "She's actually a lot bigger than when she was first born," she said, touching her youngling's pale rounded cheek.

I stared as Eira let out a small groan in response to her mother's touch, continuing to suckle quietly. Her hair, as white as her parents, was a smooth and thin coating on her perfectly round head; her eyes as icy blue as Kallias's, while the rest of her features resembled Viviane exactly. She reminded me of the female's sister, who I had only seen a handful of times since the war. After recalling a conversation where the two mentioned their looks came from their family's strong lineage, it came as no surprise to see that Eira was a carbon copy of her mother.

"Does that hurt?" I asked.

"Nursing?" She shook her head when I nodded, "Not really. It took some time to adjust at first, but it's not exactly painful."

I brushed an idle hand along the expanse of my belly. "There's so much I don't know yet," I sighed.

She smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Feyre, I had no idea what I was doing either. Right before the summit, I received a long lecture from my team of midwives on what to expect and how to care for her properly. I'm sure your healer is preparing to give you the same lesson."

I cringed. "She did say that starting at my next appointment she would be bringing along the midwife, her sister, now that I'm in the final weeks."

"Then you still have plenty of time to learn," she said. "How are you feeling?"

I sighed again as I rested against the settee. "Still tired. I'm hungry almost every hour of the day, and my back is unbelievably sore by the end of the night."

She smiled empathetically. "Are you feeling more movements from him?"

I nodded. "All the time. He's very...energetic these days, especially when Rhys is in the room, which is often. He loves to kick and stretch," I rubbed a spot on my belly for emphasis. "He used to take naps, I think, but in the last week I'm pretty sure he's decided that he won't sleep again until he's born."

Her answering laugh was melodic, Eira's stunning blue eyes fluttering open in response to the sound. "He probably won't sleep then either. Kallias and I are lucky if we get a couple of hours now; it's gotten better in the last month, but at first it's rough adapting to her schedule."

I gulped as I stared at my stomach, wondering if Rhys and I would be tormented by lack of sleep. "I don't mean to scare you," Viviane giggled. "It just takes some time to become accustomed to a youngling that's all. Once you actually see him, hold him, and nurse him...your world will revolve around him." She explained, pulling Eira away from her breast and adjusting her top expertly before scooping the youngling back up into her arms as she patted her back gently.

I laughed as that patting elicited the tiniest burp I had ever heard. "I'm assuming that's part of the nursing process?"

Viviane nodded, "Oh yes. These little ones tend to get gassy, so we help them along."

I paused for a moment as I watched her kiss Eira's cheek, cradling her close, and I imagined how in only a matter of months I would be doing the same with my son.

"Since you're here...I know you said as much in your letters...but how bad is it really? Labor?" I asked timidly.

She smiled sheepishly before contemplating how to answer me. I knew the last thing she wanted to do was instill fear in me, but I also knew she would be honest.

"I'll tell you what my midwives told me: every female's experience is different. Just as our pregnancies might differ, so will our labor's. For me, while my cycles are less than pleasant and always excruciating, I managed to find a way to alleviate the pains over the centuries. Because of that, I thought my labor would be...manageable. Unfortunately, I was wrong. It was...the hardest thing I had to endure. The pain left me...disconnected, in some way," she paused as the memories came back to her. "But Kallias was there the whole time. He kept me grounded and helped me through it all to the very end. I don't know what I would've done without him,"

She reached over to grip my hand gently. "But Feyre, you shouldn't be scared. Your mate, your Rhysand, will be there with you every step of the way too. I've seen the bond between you two, the love you share, and I have no doubt that he'll guide you through it all no matter how smooth or brutal the process might be. Who knows, maybe with his daemati abilities he could…"

I shook my head. "I don't want him to numb me. I...I want to be able to go through it as every female has for centuries. His mother endured it twice, and I figure if she could do it, if you could, then so can I."

"Of course, Feyre, if that's what you want. You do whatever is right for you," she affirmed. "In all honesty though, with Rhysand at your side you have nothing to worry about, and at the end of it all you'll welcome your son into a safe home."

I squeezed her hand, "I hope so," I admitted. I didn't have to reiterate how unsettled the coup, the very reason why she and our other allies were gathered in Velaris, left me.

She, as a new mother herself, understood perfectly. "You will," she promised. "And then you'll get to hold your beautiful boy. Have you wondered what he might look like yet?"

The image of the Bone Carver came to mind. Of those violet-blue eyes that nearly resembled mine, while all his other features were completely and utterly Rhysand.

"He'll look like Rhysand, I just know it." I said as I caressed my stomach lovingly, earning a glimmer and kick in response.

Viviane warmed as she looked at Eira, who now peacefully slept in her arms. "I was so glad when I saw that she had Kallias's eyes. I had a feeling that with my lineage she would look like me, but I still hoped she might look at least a little like Kallias. She has his spirit too, at least so far," she smiled as she smoothed the hair on the younglings head. "And Kallias, he dotes on her so much already. She hardly cries; all she has to do is wrinkle her little brow and he scoops her up."

"They say you can't spoil them at this age, but I'm sure he will as the years go on," she said.

"As I should," came her mate's voice as he walked in the room with Rhysand at his side.

My mate winked at me as he entered the room, crossing over to my side at the same time as Kallias came to Viviane's.

"I doubt our friends in the Night Court will be any different, especially with their brood." Kallias said with a smirk at me, before checking on his sleeping daughter. I noticed his fingers twitch, as if he might pick her up, but Viviane's hold was unrelenting.

"Viviane's maternal instincts are very...formidable." Kallias suddenly said, realizing my mate and I must have noticed that he hadn't held his daughter at all since their arrival. "The midwives warned us that it relates to our primitive ways; that females tend to be overprotective of their younglings for the first few months."

I blinked, and Viviane smiled sheepishly. "Back at home I don't have a hard time letting him hold and change her, but I think it's because of the change in environment now that I'm struggling."

Rhys and I exchanged an astonished look and I shrugged. "Well at least you know I won't be purposefully refusing to let you hold our son," I offered.

He smirked. "Poor Mor will be doubly disappointed, as will everyone else."

"It'll only really be intense the first week, for both of you actually," Viviane said. "The mating bond will make you both sensitive to outside influence, similar to when the bond first clicked into place."

Kallias shifted uncomfortably at the mention of something so intimate, but Rhys nodded in understanding. "We'll be in the Cabin for the duration of Feyre's recovery, so that should help."

I nodded. "The Cabin is also where you, my sisters, and I will be going...when that time comes."

"Are there any updates on that end?" Kallias asked, and I wondered what he and Rhys had been discussing in the other room if not about the business of ending the coup. "What did Eris's last report say?"

"He's managed to keep Keir at bay, hashing out details and negotiations for their supposed alliance and dragging them out for as long as he's needed to replenish the armies affected by their fighting," Rhys began. "According to his latest report, we should be expecting his soldiers any day now, along with Tamlin's."

"And then?" Viviane asked, holding Eira impossibly closer.

"Then we will lift the wards on our numbers, and have them march on the Ironcrest camp," Rhys started.

"Where that coward, Kallon, will inform Keir, and summon him here?" Kallias finished.

Rhys nodded. "Then we put an end to this for good."

I shivered at the darkness that laced in the promise of his words, and he quickly placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"What will you do with them?" Viviane quietly asked.

"Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel will deal with the Illyrians. As for Keir, we'll be handing him over to Mor. She's free to do as she wishes with him" I answered. Viviane nodded in approval, knowing the history and relationship our friend had with both her parents.

"Are you sure we can trust all of this in Eris's hands?" Kallias asked, his demeanor having shifted to a harder one.

"Azriel is keeping a close watch with his network of spies," I answered for Rhys.

"Not to mention with his court being in such shambles, entering another war against all of us, would be an extremely foolish move on his end," my mate added.

I scoffed. "Plus, he's probably enjoying his new position too much to risk losing it."

Our friends shared a wary glance, their eyes conveying their own silent exchange. "We trust you," Viviane finally said, adjusting Eira in her arms.

Rhys dipped his head in acknowledgement before turning to Kallias. "We'll ensure Viviane and Eira are safe with Feyre and her sisters in the cabin. Since the attack on Velaris we've set up stronger wards on all our properties."

Kallias's tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit at Rhys's reassurance for his daughter and Viviane's safety.

"I guess this time around you two will have to do without us." Viviane joked half-heartedly, though I could tell she harbored the same desire I had to do more for this fight.

You are doing plenty, my love, I promise you, Rhys said through the bond.

By that you mean carrying Sebastian? I mused back.

That is the most important thing right now, and more than I could have ever asked for.

I smiled at him, squeezing the hand on my shoulder, but we both looked up as a knock came from the sitting room. I saw Viviane flinch, bringing Eira close again.

"It's just Mor," Rhys reassured before waving a hand, opening the door for her.

Viviane smiled sheepishly at me as Mor entered the room. The blonde brightened when she saw her friend, but wisely didn't rush over to embrace her after noticing how protectively she held her child.

"Sorry to interrupt, I know you wanted to wait to greet the rest of us at dinner," Mor said empathetically to Viviane and Kallias. "But Azriel's spies returned from the Autumn Court with a report from Eris," she said to Rhysand and I.

"What did it say?" I asked, my heart beating faster.

"He's finalized his 'plans' with Keir, and his soldiers just arrived at Windhaven," she replied, her dark eyes hardening.

"What about the troops Spring promised?" Rhys asked, voice equally serious-his dark shadows beginning to stir.

I noticed the room growing colder as Kallias's own powers stirred at the news. "Cassian reported they're set to arrive at dawn," Mor said.

"So, it's time then, to lift the wards?" I asked—my words coming out more tense than I meant.

Rhys nodded stiffly. "As soon as the Spring soldiers arrive, we'll lift the wards. Keir and Kallon will surely meet us once we arrive at the Ironcrest camp."

"How long will that take, approximately?" Kallias asked, moving closer to his wife and mate-who rested her cheek atop Eira's head, still swaddled and sleeping in her arms.

"A day or two, at the most," Rhys answered.

We all exchanged the same strained, knowing, look and I wondered if they could hear the pounding of my heart as it settled over me that the time for this ill-fated encounter was at last about to reach its conclusion.

[franklyshipping]

The First Time ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

HERE WE HAVE ANOTHER AWESOME ANON PROMPT FEATURING THE BEST POLY IN THE ENTIRE EGOSPHERE! LET'S DO THIS!

TAGGING: @thehostofleetrature @yandere-ipli-ler and @silvlee-shepherd

New relationships take time to develop, and that’s honestly what makes them so exciting and enticing, because you get to spend so much time exploring so many things with the person, or people, that you love. I feel like cuddling is a main activity that gets explored. Now, in two-person couples it’s a pretty simple process, there’s a big spoon and a little spoon and that’s it��.but with a polyamory there is so much frickin physics involved! Who are on the outside and who is in the middle? Is the middle person being sandwiched or is it a spooning train? When is the right time for there to be a swapping of positions? It’s a whole process, but it’s a process that one particularly polyamory managed to sort out quite early on in their relationship.

The Host, Yandere and Silver Shepherd adored cuddling. Yandere loved providing and receiving any kind of love, Silver adored being snuggled and playfully squished, and the Host loved being surrounded by warmth and feeling safe. Thus, on this occasion, the arrangements were as follows: The Host was lying on his back in the middle, with Silver on his right curled up into his torso whilst the Host had an arm securely around him, meanwhile Yandere was at his left and laying on their side with one of their legs splayed over his body whilst they used his bicep as a pillow. It was pretty beautiful and adorable and precious….but of course with these three, a relaxing atmosphere never did last long.

‘Are you okay Host? Your tummy seheems to be shaking….’

Silver couldn’t keep the giggle out of his voice as the Host let out a low growl. His tummy was indeed trembling, due to the fact that Silver was lightly tickling it with his fingertips, because he loved seeing the stoic Host so squirmy and embarrassed. Yandere let out a giggle at the whole thing as they crooned.

'You are such a cheeky little villain sometimes….’

Silver’s cheeks went a cute pink at their words, but he’d gotten to the point where he was actually able to reply unlike very early on the relationship where he used to just break down into stammers.

‘Yeheeaahh, but you still looove me!’

He replied giddily, making Yandere roll their eyes fondly, before they cast their gaze to the Host as they purred.

‘Is Silvy being a nuisance darling? Do you wanna swap out sweetheart?’

The Host initially smiled, because Yandere’s endless use of pet names honestly warmed him right to the core. Then, his smile shifted into a light smirk. Yan and Silver both gasped. Whenever the Host smirked, it meant something really fun and possibly quite flustering was about to go down. He sat up, and cocked his head to Yan as he replied.

‘That’s quite alright my dear…but if you would pin Silver down for me so I can take my revenge, that would be most helpful.’

Silver’s eyes widened as he let out a fearful squeak, and he tried to scramble out of bed, but Yan and Host were too fast for him. Host hooked an arm around his waist and yanked him so that Silver was the one in the middle, before Yan grabbed his arms and lay on his chest so that the Host could wiggle his fingers into Silver’s belly.

‘EEP! N-Noho no lemme go lemme go this isn’t fahahair! HOHOOOOST!’

Silver burst into hysterical giggles as he struggled beneath Yan, but he was well and truly stuck as the Host chuckled and happily scratched over Silver’s trembling, ticklish tummy.

‘To be fair dear, you started it.’

Silver let out a whine amidst his laughter, but he couldn’t argue because there was no lie in the Host’s words. Silver was a pink cheeked giggly mess at this point, and as the Host enjoyed playing with Silver’s tummy, Yandere was just becoming encapsulated by Silver’s scrunched up pink face. So they decided to have a little fun with Silver too.

‘NAHAHAH YAHANNY NUHUH KIHIHISSES!!’

Silver squealed, making Yandere giggle as they deposited fluttery, tickly kisses all over both of Silver’s cheeks, which were also ticklish by the way. Yandere crooned as they continued pecking their smooches everywhere they could reach on his face.

‘Awww but I thought you liked my kisses honeypie?’

Silver’s cheeks were seriously red now, both from his blushing and from Yan’s residual lipstick. The hero wiggled and bucked, tugging at his arms as much as he could. In his mind this was just so unfair, he ALWAYS got ganged up on with tickles! I mean, he didn’t hate it per say, but he wanted to get Yanny and Hosty with tickles too! Damn his insane ticklishness.

‘BUHUHUT THEHEY TIHIHICKLE!!’

Yandere giggled, and was about to upgrade from kisses to nuzzles to show Silver how tickly they could be….when suddenly, they felt deft fingers wiggle into their sides. They jumped with a squeal, releasing Silver’s arms so they could hold their sides as they gazed wide eyed behind them to where the Host was grinning. You see, he’d picked up on Silver’s little thought of wanting either Host or Yan being ganged up on instead of him….so the Host was making sure it was Yan who got the tickly limelight.

‘H-Hosty! What w-was that for?’

The Host grinned, especially as he saw Silver start to sit up with an eager gleam in his eyes.

‘Out of the three of us…..who is the one who has yet to receive even the slightest tickle today?’

Yandere’s eyes widened as they gulped…..then squealed as Silver suddenly pushed them down onto the bed, forcing their arms above their head as the Host chuckled and pulled Yan’s ankles closer to him. Needless to say, the fiery ego was struggling wildly. They weren’t on the receiving end nearly as often as their two boys, they said it was because they had a fierce reputation to maintain….but really it was because they were far more ticklish than they liked to admit.

‘Y-Yohou let me g-go! I will get you b-both for this I swe-EEK! H-Hohohosty n-nohohot my feheet nohot my fehehEEEET!!’

Yandere threw their head back and squealed, scrunching up they bare feet as the Host dragged his blunt nails up and down their soles leisurely. Meanwhile, Silver grinned with giddy satisfaction, having Yan on the receiving end was beyond satisfying. As the hero pinned Yan’s wrists with one of his, he wiggled the fingers of his free hand teasingly over one of their armpits.

‘Are you ready for the ticklies Yanny? They’re coming to geeet yooou!’

Yandere squealed and shook their head, eyes wide as they giggled and squeaked frantically, they couldn’t believe they’d let this happen!

‘Sihihilvy dohohon’t yohou dahare-AAAHH! NAHAHA IHIHIT TIHICKLES IHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLES!!’

Silver giggled as he happily scratched all inside Yan’s sensitive hollow, adoring how Yan thrashed and let out mini-shrieks from all the tickling. Silver loved being in this relationship. Not only was he lucky enough to see the Host’s soft, loving personality behind his stoic third-person mask, but he also got to see the innocent sweetness behind Yandere’s defensive front. He felt so lucky to be in so much love with them both, especially since they ended up doing things like this (Silver made a mental reminder to make a note that today was their first true tickle fight between the three of them).

‘Ahaaawww coochie coochie coo Yannyboo!’

Yandere let out a cute wail at the teasing, which made the Host chuckle down at Yan’s feet as he scratched at their inner arches evilly.

‘Ohoho, methinks our dear Yandere likes those coochie coos-‘

‘IHIHIHI DOHOHO NAHAHAT!!’

The Host and Silver both giggled and chuckled at their indignant exclamation, and the resident superhero switched the scratch Yandere’s un-tickled armpit as he crooned.

‘Oh yes you do oh yes you dooooo!’

Yandere let out a desperate wail, throwing their head back as their high pitched laughter flew from them, it was unstoppable and beautiful. They let out protest after protest, but the tickles kept on coming….until Yandere said one particular thing, that really caught Silver’s attention….and it would be the Host’s downfall.

‘HOHOHOSTY WAHAHASN’T EHEVEN PROHOPERLY TIHICKLED TOHODAAAAY!!’

Silver gasped at Yan’s words, because they were just so true. Silver had barely been grazing the Host’s skin, barely even teasing him, and then he just went and launched a full tickle assault against fricking BOTH of them! Silver had mercy on Yan, and Yan took the opportunity to gasp and catch their breath….because the Host had stopped too. He’d stopped, because he too had heard Yan’s exclamation….and it made him realise that he was well and truly screwed. Before he knew it, four hands had pulled him into a lying position on the bed, and Silver and Yandere were looming over him with twitching fingers and playful smiles.

‘N-Now…l-let’s not be too hasty-‘

‘Oh I think it’s a little late for that sweetheart. First you attack poor Silver, tickling him FAR more than he tickled you….and then you had the gall to start on me….’

Yandere purred through slightly gritted teeth, but the Host felt only giddiness because he knew it was all in fun. The seer gulped as Silver then chipped in.

‘So it’s only fair that you get some real tickle treatment….some real torture…’

The Host whimpered as he felt his arms being pinned above his head by Silver, whilst Yandere’s fingers ventured under his shirt smoothly. They were both smirking as the Host smiled nervously, shaking his head as he already started giggling.

‘P-Pleheeease…I-Ihi c-c-can’t….’

The Host gasped. It had begun. His personal torture….might surprise you. When it comes to tickling, there is one mode, one technique that gets to him above everything else. Gentleness. Gentle, teasy tickling was his absolute weakness, because it made him diminish into a flustered, babbling, broken little mess. It was adorable to witness. Yandere grinned as they let their fingernails trace and stroke carefully in his armpits, tickling through his armpit hairs and grazing the skin only slightly.

'Tickle….tickle….tickle….’

Yandere’s whispered words just made it all so much worse, giving the Host goose-bumps as he twitched and giggled, squirming helplessly as he stuttered.

‘P-Plehehease I-I-Ihi’m sohoho sohohorry….’

Silver and Yandere grinned fondly, and the hero leant down to peck a kiss on the Host’s cheek as he crooned.

‘Oh not yet you’re not, but you will be….’

The Host let out a nervous whine….then squeaked and sucked his tummy in when he saw what Silver was starting to do. As Yandere kept up the treatment at his armpits, Silver used a single finger to trace light circles around the Host’s hyper-sensitive bellybutton.

‘N-Nohohot thehehere oho p-plehease nohot thehehere….’

Silver giggled, he always love how the Host reacted when his bellybutton was played with. He remembered when he and Yan had discovered how sensitive the Host’s bellybutton was, it was the first time they’d ever seen the Host’s blush travel right down his neck….just as it was doing now.

‘Oh but it’s impossible to resist! You’re just sooo ticklish here, I can’t not play with your cute wittle button!’

The Host bit his lip as he whined, his whole body trembling now as he gasped and squeaked at the armpit tickles, whilst trying in vain to suck his tummy in and away from Silver’s teasy touch. But it was all no use, he was subject to the whims of Yandere and Silver….truly, it was the most loving tickle torture ever.

‘Kitchy kitchy coooo Hosty, who’s a ticklish naughty booooy?’

The Host giggled and whined at Yandere’s coos, but nevertheless meekly replied.

‘M-Mehehe….’

Yandere and Silver grinned, they loved when the Host played along, he was so darn cute.

‘And are you truly, truly sorry for launching unprovoked tickle attacks on us, your loved ones?’

Silver purred, whilst tapping his finger against Host’s navel to make him jump and yip as he replied frantically and squeakily.

‘Y-Yehehehes yehes I-Ihi’m sohohorry!’

Host let out a little cry as his entire body tensed….but then, as hands and fingers retracted, he was able to relax. Suddenly they were two sets of arms wrapped around him as two heads nestled into his chest, and the Host let out a shaky, happy gasp when he heard Silver mumble.

‘We forgive you Hosty….’

‘Mhmm….plus, it was kinda fun…’

Yandere giggled, whilst made Silver and the Host grin as they hugged each other closer. Bodies over bodies, limbs over limbs, hearts against hearts. Love is love people, whether it be lover and lover….or lover, and lover, and lover.

WOOOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[anarkhebringer]

hi i'm back, can i get some more modern felix stuff please? just anything you can think of would be perfect!

Hiiiii nonny, welcome back~~~

But anyway yee, you may have a lot of random modern Felix stuffs. I’m always happy to deliver. I’m gonna try to not make it too long, but it’s already a mile long now by the time I’ve made most of the main points so I might as well just roll with it a bit. This is definitely gonna be a very long read.

Living with his aunt for the number of years he has eventually led him to developing an occasional southern drawl when he speaks, since his aunt has one. It’s a very rare thing though, and almost never happens. When it does though, he HATES IT.

The influences on his speaking from his aunt mostly shows in his wording of things, since sometimes when he gets spirited about something he says “y’all” and such all the time. One time when Sylvain was just being Sylvain, and neither Felix nor Ashe could calm him, Felix just muttered “y’all’re gonna bleed me dry someday…” Sylvain and Ashe thought it was the cutest fuckin’ thing, and Sylvain calmed down after that. Neither mentioned the drawl though since they quickly learned from hearing stories that Felix will get really pissed if you tease him about it or even mention it too much for his tastes. Which is just mentioning it at all.

He’s not easily scared at all, but just walking past him wrong can make him jolt from being startled sometimes. That’s something from his traumas that’s finally starting to come to the forefront that couldn’t before, since he could suppress everything that hindered his progress in combat, but he can’t do that anymore.

He’s gotten to be a person who can really enjoy his leisure due to his really deep dive into depression that happened after he got his ability to be in combat taken away from him. He and Linhardt could have had a competition to see who can fall asleep while standing up and stay standing the longest. He has medication that helps keep him awake enough to not be able to do that anymore though, but he has really bad insomnia now as a result of his completely chaotic and inconsistent sleeping schedule. His stress wrinkles in the inner corners of his eyes are completely covered by the dark circles under them now that really shows his wear and exhaustion.

He won’t at all complain if he’s given a task to do by someone that isn’t in his household, and it’ll keep his mind active and keep his mood in a positive place if he isn’t overworked. He does get drained way easier now though if what he’s asked to do involves socializing or interacting with anyone in any way too much.

When he’s drained socially, he becomes very aggressive and unstable. He’ll get like he used to be and completely isolate, and lash out if you interrupt what he’s doing and you don’t want to actively participate. He’d still get mad that you interrupted him though, and he probably won’t let you participate unless you’re among a certain handful of people.

Ashe and Claude are the only two people who don’t mentally drain him whatsoever, and he could see them literally every day if they wanted to do that. Ashe because Felix cares for him so much, and Claude because they’re so similar. He and Claude don’t drain each other because they can go literal months without speaking, then pick up on what they left off on like they only stopped talking for a day or two. Same with Ashe, though Felix becomes slightly noticeably more down and sad when he doesn’t see Ashe for too long a timespan.

He has a secret love of cuddling, and also hides his full support of platonic PDA, cuddling, and even kisses and such if there’s enough mutual trust between the ones involved. He’s very touch-averse and sensitive to others touching him, so he only really lets Ashe, Claude, and Sylvain touch him to show affection. Only Ashe can do much, and he only really tolerates Sylvain’s occasional one-armed hugs or quick pats on the shoulder as he walks by. Ashe however can hug him (after making his desires to do so known of course), hold his arms, and even his hands, since Ashe is the kind to show affection by physical means whenever he’s allowed to do so. They even cuddle at night when Ashe stays overnight at his apartment.

He actually lets Sylvain cuddle with him too when Sylvain really needs the affection during hard times, though he never returns it unless he does so while he’s asleep. It’s become a comforting thing to wake up to, feeling the warmth of Sylvain against him and his arms wrapped around Felix’s frame, even though Felix didn’t really want it to become that. At first, anyway.

His depressive rut wasn’t all bad in some cases, and because of the isolation he went into, he’s become extremely artistic and tech savvy since he didn’t have much to do to occupy himself. Being extremely brainy as is really helped him get going with these things.

He’s also learned to hack and code on the computer from that rut too, and he could get you into anything you wanted him to. He knows all sorts of ways to hide himself under all sorts of circumstances, and clear his tracks if he’s found, so he could actually be extremely dangerous if he were to use this knowledge and skill for anything shady. The most he uses it for is to make modifications to games and explore the Dark Web as anonymously as possible when his morbid curiosities get the best of him, though.

Well, there have been times where he’s used his skills to scare people. There have been times where people have threatened his friends (namely Claude and Ashe), and to scare the bullies off, he hid himself and hacked into their devices to make text documents warning them to stay away or else there would be trouble, because they’re always being watched. That always managed to scare them off on the first try, and he’s never done anything more than that, because there was no need.

He’s super protective of what few friends he has. He’d willingly put himself in danger for them all the time, unless of course they got themselves into the mess they’re in and he feels they don’t really deserve to be helped out of a situation that’ll be them learning their lesson. Otherwise, he’s borderline obsessed with his friends’ safety and happiness. It’s hard to really see that outside of sudden outbursts from him, since he’s so averse to socialization and unable to understand/express emotions well, but if he’s really needed and he can mentally handle it, you’d best believe he’d be completely focused on doing whatever he could do to help a friend in need for as long as they needed him.

Stuff like this has his friends really knowing who he is eventually, and he doesn’t like that. He’s actually really nice, but his way of showing it isn’t exactly common. Onlookers would think he’s just indifferent unless he’s feeling particularly chipper and/or manic, but his friends get to be on the receiving end of conversation and see him do more personal things compared to others, so they know he’s far nicer than even he thinks he is. He’s become oddly patient compared to his old self, and can hold a conversation for a while longer than he used to. If you get him talking about certain topics, though, you could manage to talk with him for literal hours on end.

He’s overall pretty chill now. Depression has taken the constant explosive anger out of him. He’s still always angry and bitter to some degree, but not to the point of lashing out at every little thing that upsets him. He’s still just as blunt as he was before, but he’s become a lot more passive-aggressive and/or condescending when it shows, instead of sudden outbursts and hurling insults around at all turns. And to those who have received both from him, the current version of his aggression hurts them a lot more, since he shows so little emotion during the times he throws something out to hurt them. All they see is (sometimes) in his body language, and the bitter fogginess in those eyes from how empty he’s become. Even his tone has changed. He’s not as aggressive sounding unless he’s more angry than usual, but he’s got a bitter tone. Or worse, he sounds almost monotone, like he feels absolutely nothing. If he’s got the tone of voice he used to have before, know that he’s on the verge of snapping and lashing out, and that goes from angry sounding to yelling at any time. And he yells loud.

He tends to cry a bit more than he used to now, since he gets overstimulated really easily. He can hold it in around other people most of the time unless it’s particularly overwhelming and getting even worse. It sometimes reminds Sylvain of when they were kids, but then he feels bad thinking of it like that since Felix has more going on in his head than he did back then. He’s trying to work on stopping that association, and he’s starting to get better at not thinking of Felix when he was a kid when he cries.

He used to parade around talking about how he wasn’t one to laugh and joke, but nowadays he’s not like that anymore. He still won’t joke often, and jokes go right over his head and he doesn’t get it and may ruin it usually, but he lets himself laugh at things he finds funny. Not around other people, though. Unless it’s from something else he finds funny, like a YouTube video. His laugh is like an odd mix between Vinny from Vinesauce, Bluesdank, and FPS Diesel. He’s the rare kind of person that’ll laugh in 10 different ways in one sitting and them all be real laughter. The sound of his laughter isn’t too consistent at times.

There’s another reason he can’t do much anymore aside from his depression, and that’s because a year or so ago he had a fit of smaller seizures that shocked his system really bad because of how long it lasted. After that, his mental regression that was already happening because of what he has has gotten much faster in its progression.

Despite these new growing limits he has, he’s still doing his best to keep going and existing on doing what he can do with what he has, and he’s shifted from being solely focused on a person’s skills in battle to how much heart they have due to it. He won’t care about combat skills anymore if you aim to impress him, he cares more about what you bring to the table. Your skills with a sword don’t show what you put your heart into in life and what you do for yourself and others. If you wanna impress him, give him a gift from the heart, not anything store bought. Do something nice for someone. Draw him a picture, write him a letter, pick him some flowers you think he’d like. Maybe take him to the park? Talk to him about your interests, voice your opinions on what you enjoy. Something that you can put your heart into, and I can’t stress it enough. He cares about a person’s core more than their fighting prowess now. He’s sworn off of focusing so much on fighting forever since he got the ability to do so himself taken form him, and he refuses to still dwell on it with others, too.

Alright, that’s gonna be where I cut it off for now. Hopefully that was a good read. I’ve made Felix go through some shit in this AU, but hey, he’s one of the characters I picked to put a theme of healing and strength onto, so I gotta give him some lore to get him to the point of being so different now. Plus a softer Felix makes me warm inside, so I wanted to incorporate that in, too.

[skewl4kewl]

TASK 2 : What has Influenced me? 

The question, “what has influenced me?” is a vast one, and is hard to articulate and objectively define what exactly has moulded me into the person that I am today. The sheer multitude of varying factors that shape an individual throughout different crucial stages in one’s life is hard to pinpoint, however has everything to do with the environment in which one grows up in both at home and in public.  Living in Canada, specifically Vaughan Ontario, is a wonderful place for people to grow up and develop a fully intact, multi-faceted sense of self. Since Ontario is Canada’s most multicultural province, we as a community are truly blessed to be living in such a highly functioning cultural mosaic full of diverse food, fashion, entertainment, architecture and leisure activities. Looking back at my elementary school days, growing up & attending a French immersion public school as the child of Immigrant parents from the former state of Yugoslavia, I was very blessed to have friends from every continent on the earth. As a child I wasn’t aware of the cultural differences, since most if not all of my friends were born in Canada, and were mainly socialized by the Canadian public school system, but having those relationships as a young child embedded the belief that no matter what religion, race or orientation one may possess, we are all equal and deserve to be treated with the same respect as we navigated our way through the education system. My time on this earth has shown me that we can all peacefully and seamlessly co-exist and create meaningful life-long friendships as we build and ameliorate our community with unconventional and creative ideas that have its origins not only within conventional Canadian society, but foreign societies overseas and elsewhere. Since every individual person has a unique personality, distinct tastes and likes/dislikes, knowing there was a plethora of diverse ideologies, traditions and arts available for me to take a liking to and then subsequently express was profoundly important as it enabled me to see a bit of myself in each of the different things I was inclined towards. This allowed me to  view the world from a lenses of interconnectedness, to see the similarities between all the diverse cultures, religions and walks of life around the world, it reinforced the notion of unity and common humanity.

 The specifics into my journey surround exposing myself to different subcultures via leisure activities, starts with me identifying with the movements of Feminism and Veganism. These 2 ideologies massively shifted the way in which I viewed the world. Feminism has been around for a long time, but the oppression of women has existed longer, and thus the idea has yet to be fully realized on a global scale. We here in the west are blessed because our government fully embraces the notion of equality between the genders, however there are still spots in society that unconsciously allow for systemic gender based discrimination, which I had first hand experience with unfortunately as a young teenager coming of age. I began to defy gender presentation norms, embracing body hair and rejecting the female beauty standard dictated by our respective society as a means to protest the status-quo which perpetuates the marginalization of women. Veganism came as a result of becoming good friends with a vegan at school and admiring her mindful, compassionate and empathic demeanor as she interacted with other students and faculty. Veganism is the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of animals. A follower of the diet or the philosophy is known as a vegan. Beginning to view all forms of life as sentient and able to feel pain and express emotion was the first step in becoming a more mindful and compassionate person, which allowed me increase my own self-awareness in order to perpetually grow and learn from the lessons life incessantly throws. In high school I was also exposed to different art forms such as intuitive painting and drawing as a means to de-stress and relieve my social anxiety and discovered that “art” doesn’t need to look any which way, and whatever comes up on the canvas is a direct reflection of what you need to let out. Art as a form of creation was very helpful for me as I began to experiment with creating jewelry, to know that I was able to focus my energy and creative vision enough to make a tangible piece of wearable jewelry was very empowering and showed me that I had the capacity to create things in the real world.  Living in a free market society also spawned a multitude of different businesses with it’s origins steeped in foreign cultural traditions and ideologies. I am grateful that my friend took me to a yoga studio when I said I wanted to work out. This experience opened up a whole new world to me, one in which I felt good not only physically but mentally as well, and with the implementation of a steady yogic practice this was the first step that catalyzed me in creating my won tradition which prioritized developing self awareness. As this self awareness and mindfulness grew, I  began to understand that I was capable of accomplishing anything if I just focused my time and energy toward the direction of what I wanted. It allowed me to understand that everything I needed or seeked, was already within me, and in order to achieve my goals and desires all I needed to do was create a firm connection to myself which fostered firm belief IN myself. This was PIVOTAL.

  Living in Vaughan, which is right beside Brampton, I grew up with many friend who were Sikh, and I remember growing up and going over to their houses to be greeted by their warm mothers who offered me the most delectable, nutritious and vegan/vegetarian foods. I developed a fascination in how the women adorned their bodies like temples with the fashion they chose to wear, and eventually made the decision to visit India to do a Yoga Teacher training and to just develop a deeper appreciation for all the country has given throughout time. As I immersed myself in eastern philosophy’s and sister-practices related to yoga like Ayurveda and Vedic meditation, I developed a very fond appreciation for Asian culture, more specifically for the multitude of spiritual gifts bestowed to humanity from India.  I travelled to India to understand the origins of the ideas, rituals and traditions that framed the culture I connected with so deeply, and began to study the history of the country, which allowed me to understand my own respective culture with a more accepting lens. During my travels I was amazed and floored by the religious architecture, knowing that they were so old, yet such intricate pieces of functional art. I can say with confidence that my #1 leisure activity now is yoga and meditation, it provides so much soothing solace and relaxation and t re-sets me back to a space within myself where I feel completely at ease , without any anxiety attached to who I am, simply just being. I still enjoy the simple things in life as a means of entertainment, hanging out with my favourite friends and family, playing board games, hiking through new trails as I embark on journeys throughout Ontario with my friends, waking up early, enjoying a cup of tea and a good book, staying up late and talking about what scares me the most with my friends, just the small sweet free things that make your relationships forge a stronger/deeper bond, having a really tight knit sound support system is the most important thing in my life, and funnily enough is the things that brings me the most joy and fun in life.

 So what has influenced me, at the end of the day I can say a lot of good and bad things have influenced me, I believe this can be applied to most people as we all have been influenced and propagated by false notions via the media and school systems. However the distinction here is, what has made the most lasting impact on who I am as a person and my character. I believe those experiences have afforded me the ability to assess what social norm, rules and values serve the person that I am and strive to be, and what societal norms, rules and values do not serve a purpose and stifle my ability at self-realization and fully asserting my own autonomous sense of self in the world, regardless of the reaction i may receive as a result of defying or adhering to these societal rules. The moments in which I was exposed to different ways of doing things that deviated away from our Canadian societal norms, sometimes reflected my own culture of origin, and sometimes vehemently opposed it via lifestyle, ideology, food, fashion, architecture, tradition and overall belief systems. These were important moments because it forced me to objectively be introspective about my own belief systems that were fueling my behaviours at the time,  and to justly turn said belief systems on their heads in order to gain an alternate perspective so I could understand what true empathy and a total sense of compassion and understanding that sometimes what we need is the exact opposite of what we want. Sometimes what we require the most for our own growth, are the experiences that place us directly in a position of discomfort. We’d rather choose the devils (complacency, comfort, convenience)  we know then put ourselves out there in foreign situations for the possibility of meeting the angel we deserve.

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

7 Ideas for Improving Your Approach to Working and thus Your Experience and the Outcome

"To embrace leisure, we don't have to let go of progress. [Our] constant pushing is now impeding our progress. We work best when we allow for flexibility in our habits . . . [w]e can and must stop treating ourselves like machines that can be driven and pumped and amped and hacked. Instead of limiting and constraining our essential natures, we can celebrate our humanness at work and in idleness. We can better understand our own natures and abilities. We can lean in not to our work but to our inherent gifts." —Celeste Headlee Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing , and Underliving

For the past 10 weeks I have had the good fortune to go to work with both of my dogs. Why? Because I have been working from home.

I am able to take them for a short walk about the neighborhood before I step into my office and remote classroom, then take a break around 10:30 am as we sit on the garden porch, soaking in some sunshine and thinking about what I might want to enjoy for lunch in a few hours time. Lunch is leisurely because I can cook it, savor it, not be rushed to eat it or interrupted and our afternoon outing after about 70-90 minutes of work after lunch is to the mailbox and about the neighborhood. Returning to the office if need be to tie up loose ends, check my work email one more time (I only check my school email three times a day), when the day concludes, I am not exhausted, but I do feel productive.

Admittedly, the scenario I shared above is due to an unwanted global occurrence, and I miss my in-person connections with my students and colleagues, but what I do not miss is the excessive expectation to always be checking my email, regularly being interrupted so that I lose my focus/students' focus and requirement for a long inflexible work day (meaning not healthy breaks, a constant expectation of being "on"), and being rewarded for giving more beyond the work day even if it reduces the quality of my home life and personal relationships.

I am not complaining directly about a system that surrounds so many of us, but trying to be honest about the reality of why I was quietly thankful to have the time at home these past 10 weeks to catch my breath. I did my best to examine why, and while the emotional toll for those of us fortunate enough not to have our health and livelihoods taken away was unhealthy and exhausting, overall, I found great refuge and restoration this spring whilst staying at home, finding a schedule that worked for me as I continued to remotely teach and blog and just be home.

I also found much more time to read books that have been patiently sitting in my shopping cart, and two books furthered my exploration into how exactly improve the working environment when we begin to step back into the workplace. I have a few ideas. Take a look below.

1.Understand the history of the current work culture

"We are investing our time and energy and hard-earned money in things we think will make us more efficient, but those things end up wasting our time, exhausting us, and stressing us out without bringing us closer to or our goals." —Celeste Headlee

Journalist and bestselling author Celeste Headlee reminds readers in her recent book Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing , and Underliving (Amazon; Bookshop) that "[o]ur working habits changed dramatically a little more than two centuries ago" (aka as the Industrial Revolution), and not largely for the better. In fact, humans came to be seen as being capable of producing regularly and steadfastly with minimal breaks much like a machine. Humans are not machines. Our ability to be productive and creative and resilient comes from adequate and regular and in equal measure amounts rest to that of the amount of time we work. No wonder we're exhausted.

2. Enable the mind to think well so you can respond compassionately

Often we are reacting instead of responding to situations in life that arise unexpectedly or unwantingly. At the time, we are not aware because either we have always behaved in such a way or because we do not know or have not been taught a better way. Dr. Sylvia Boorstein speaks about equanimity, and as it pertains to the mind, equanimity "is the capacity of the mind to hold a clear view of whatever is happening, both externally and internally, as well as the ability of the mind to accommodate passion without losing its balance. It's the mind that sees clearly, that meets experience with cordial intent. Becuase it remains steady, and thus unconfused, it is able to correctly asses the situations it meets."

How to become clear thinkers? We acknowledge we do not know everything, and we take a step back and ask helpful questions with a calm tone. We choose to educate ourselves seeking out experts in the field we wish to learn more about - whether in book, audio, video or conversation form. We become comfortable with not having a concrete and absolute response immediately or at all and acknowledging the gray in nearly every situation that presents itself. And lastly, but perhaps most importantly, we rest the mind regularly and well. This includes good nights of sleep, regularly a slower pace in our schedules, days and weeks and a cultivation of environments that enable us to lower our stress levels and feel safe.

"And because we are humans and have empathy built into our brain structure, when we are touched by what we encounter — and when our minds are balanced — we respond with benevolence." —Sylvia Boorstein, Ph.D., author of Happiness is an Inside Job (Amazon; Bookshop)

~Responding vs. Reacting: The Difference, episode #145

3. Let go of the busy mentality

When we reduce the constant go-go-go mentality, we give our lives breath, and figuratively speaking, we give our lives oxygen to live better and thus to improve the quality of our lives. Letting go of busy feeds a cycle of life improvement because as you are letting go of busy, you are improving your decision making skills, reducing the unnecessary stress and constantly cultivating the life you want to live rather than creating more problems, more headaches and less time to adequately address and handle them.

Interestingly enough, studies have shown that we may actually think we are busier than we actually are, but it is the delusion of busyness that is the cause for our mind to feel harried and thus our decision-making abilities to suffer. For example, if you feel pressed for time, this perception can lead you to making bad choices about how you spend your time. Conversely, if you feel you have time to spare, the study revealed people feel healthier and happier. So much of the quality of our lives rest in our minds. Harness the awesome tool of your mind, and you will improve your approach to living.

~Listen/Read episode/post #115 - The 8 Benefits of Banishing Busy

4. Quality productivity is not a result of excessive time given.

"If you silence your phone, close your inbox, and really focus on getting a report done, research shows you'll finish 40 percent faster, have fewer errors, and have plenty of time to take a short walk around the building and let your brain relax." — Celeste Headlee

Studies that were done decades ago have proven that more time does not equate to more output and certainly not a quality output. In 1951, researchers at the Illinois Institute of Technology discovered that people who put in excessive hours were the least productive of all. The most productive were the workers who worked 2-5 hours a day, so 10-20 hours a week. Recently, in Sweden, a hospital attempted to improve the working conditions for the workers, reducing their hours to six hours a day, and no more than 30 hours a week. The hospital was prepared to hire extra workers to make up for the loss of productivity, but do you know what happened? As reported in The New York Times, "The unit [performed] 20 percent more operations, generating additional business from treatments . . . that would have gone to other hospitals." Quality over quantity and in this case it surpassed even that of the hopeful that it would simply be equitable in output.

5. Allow yourself to focus on a single task entirely and without disruption

Simply, turn off the notifications. If you work at a job that expects you to be constantly responding to emails broach the topic of productivity as studies have demonstrated if we cannot give ourselves fully to a task, we cannot do our best work. What this means for me at home is that I have been checking my school emails three times a day during the school day - when the school day begins, at noon and at the end of the day. If this will be a shift for those expecting to hear from you, perhaps send an automated response for the first month or two (or leave it in your footer) when people can expect to hear from you, how frequently you check your email, etc. so that they are not expecting an immediate response and should not worry when they do not receive one.

6. Invest in leisure

"Research shows employees who feel more detached from their jobs during their time at home are emotionally healthier and more satisfied with their lives. They're less likely to feel emotionally exhausted, and they report getting better sleep." —Celeste Headlee

Leisure time is separate from "free time" or "spare time" as Headlee defines it. Spare time is the time we find in between the work we do for our income. Leisure time is entirely separate from work. As she describes it, leisure time is "unpolluted" by work - no emails, no work calls, nor worrying about how your activity might impact your work life. Speaking for myself, while I and many other educators have been at home these past 10 weeks, it has not been leisure time during the work week. I am still, if I am not teaching online, checking my emails, responding to expectations, grading papers and aware of my actions during the school day, etc. My leisure time begins on the weekend, after the school day has ended each work day and will fully begin when our summer holiday starts later this week.

The mind behaves differently when we are on leisure time, and it is imperative that we regularly welcome it into our daily schedule. Each of us will do it differently during the work week and weekend, and perhaps even our holidays, but do make sure you have leisure time in your life to savor and enjoy. It will make a tremendous difference in the quality of your life.

7. Give your mind space to become clear

"Just take one breath and another and another, with as much attention in every way as you can. The confusion will sort itself out. Inclined in the right direction, the mind takes care of itself." —Sylvia Boorstein, Ph.D.

The untrained mind can be a weapon of destruction to ourselves and others. A trained mind, one that is understood, that is strengthened to think well, critically examine and refrain from rash assumptions due to lack of emotional intelligent understanding is an artist's prized possession. However, it is a choice to become a student of our mind. Boorstein writes, "I do not think the mind needs lots of instruction, but I do think it needs to be encouraged and continually inspired." Feed your mind well. Be conscious of what is presented to it (limit social media, be aware of the news and how much you intake, observe how you feel around certain people, the books you read, the videos, shows and television you watch). Choose to feed it with what you are curious about. Delight in learning something new and do not feel guilty for not knowing what the zeitgeist believes is most popular or most noteworthy of the moment. Give your mind space to have clarity, and when it has clarity regularly, it will be your best friend.

~How to be the Master of Your Mind, episode #20

So how can we institute these needed changes if research has repeatedly demonstrated the need to observe that we are human beings, not machines? We need leaders who are well-educated with the resources that demonstrates convincingly that the quality of work will not diminish and likely will increase when we see our employees as human beings. Yes, it is a culture shift, and it will take time, but it takes courage and strong, patient leadership to clearly communicate the benefit to the worker first, knowing that the company, the department, the school, our futures, will be all the better. And even if you are not in a position of leadership at the moment, communication with your leadership body, build a consensus amongst your co-workers. Schedules and approaches change with data, trusted experts and informing the public as well as those it will directly effect, as well as indirectly.

If nothing else, you can start at home and setting boundaries on your work and home life. Cultivate leisure time, practice the strengthening of your mind and begin to see your being settle, relax and enjoy your daily life far more.

Petit Plaisir

—Sicilian Lemon Biscuit from Shortbread House of Edinburgh

~purchase in the states from Chelsea Market Baskets, NY

~purchase in the UK directly from Shortbread House of Edinburgh

Learn more about the history of shortbread below in a short video about the Shortbread House of Edinburgh company.

https://youtu.be/ez5mLaHPXpA

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[embhm]

Chapter 190: GU HAI successfully ESCAPES

NOTE: Do you ever sometimes feel like you’re the only one who likes BL? Ever feel like sometimes you want to discuss the chapter(s) in a more active and dynamic environment? If so, please join us on the “Addicted” chat channel on the LINE app. Also, don’t mind the chattering that tends to happen sometimes, just jump in there and introduce yourself, say hello. If they want to “interrogate” you, feel free to decline if you don’t want to. If you have the LINE app, message Sae (Line ID: duyihan79) or myself (Line ID: alecvise) if you’re interested for a chat invite. Hope to see and talk with more of you guys there.

Once again, I would like to thank Sae for the translation. She and the other translators are working hard to get the translation to us in their free time. I <3 you all. Also once again, please be advised that the “Addicted: The Novel” blog will always update the chapters earlier than on Tumblr. Visit https://addictedthenovel.wordpress.com for up to date postings. <Alec>

NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!!, in the comments or anywhere on this account. We have not finished reading the novel. No copy/paste and all that other shenanigans either. Votes/likes/comments are highly appreciated.

While reading, if available, please read the footnotes at the end of the chapter for clarification.

Translator: Sae            Editor: Alec

As always, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying the journey with our INTREPID boys:

GU HAI & BAI LUO YIN

《你丫上瘾了》

Chapter 190: GU HAI successfully ESCAPES

Acting as if he did not hear anything, Bai Luo Yin remained to the side and continued to speak garrulously without getting to the point. “Before he died, his face was completely purple. His lips were so parched like that of an old dried up tree bark. He kept on crying out miserably: Brother ah, brother ah, I’m really thirsty. My fingers are all broken from being chewed on. I drank my blood dry already...brother ah, brother ah. I’m really hungry. My stomach is stuffed with tree roots and insects from the soil that was dug up. Brother ah, brother ah, I’m really cold. All my toes are all split open, mutilated and bloody……”

Hearing Bai Luo Yin’s dreadful voice, Gu Yang shouted coldly at him to stop, “Don’t take me as Gu Hai. I am not that easily swayed.”

“AHHH!!!”

Bai Luo Yin suddenly screamed without any warning sign at all. His voice was so loud and crisp, that it provoked Gu Yang’s pupils to widen.

“I see Da Hai. I can really see Da Hai. He’s under your bed……”

After saying that, he immediately leaned down at the side of the bed; his upper body scuttled beneath, while his legs and feet remained on top. By then his head had already reached the floor. There was an obvious sound of excitement in his voice that he could not suppress once he spoke again.

“Da Hai, say whatever it is you want to say. I’m listening.”

Suddenly, the veins on Gu Yang’s temple jumped; unable to bear the thought of it, he kicked Bai Luo Yin off the bed.

Even then, Bai Luo Yin continued to speak to the air beneath the bed although no one else was present in the room. The way he spoke was clear, precise and orderly, to the point that it seemed like he actually did hear something. Many of the words used were very sensational, all said for Gu Yang to hear. But, Gu Yang pretended to be deaf. Bai Luo Yin was like an audio recording device, patiently and painstakingly saying those words over and over again.

At long last, Bai Luo Yin successfully tugged at Gu Yang’s supposedly impenetrable nerves and annoyed him. Unable to continue bearing with this tedious behavior, Gu Yang quickly and violently got up and grabbed Bai Luo Yin’s belt, with the intention of hauling him back up onto the bed. But, Bai Luo Yin’s belt loosened and gravity took control by dragging his legs and feet off the bed. Gu Yang’s eyes merely widened as he watched the boy’s entire body slip to the ground, leaving only the belt in his hand.

“Da Hai……I’m here to accompany you. I’ll go with you…” whispered Bai Luo Yin listlessly, his strength dwindling along with his breath.

Looking morose, Gu Yang lugged his body off the bed. He wanted to pull The foolish boy up, however, he quickly noticed that Bai Luo Yin’s body was really stiff. Within seconds, anxiety overflowed his face as he made haste and switched the lamp on. What he saw then was Bai Luo Yin’s sickly countenance, depleted of all colors. His eyes were opened wider than usual while his lips trembled as if wanting to say something but was unable to.

Gu Yang carried Bai Luo Yin onto the bed and quickly called for a doctor to come over. By the time he hung up the call, Bai Luo Yin had already lost consciousness.

“Fuck! I’ve lost to you. You didn’t use this method to keep a hold on Gu Hai, did you?”

Gu Yang stood at the side of the bed at a loss for words, with a dumbstruck expression trickling from the side of his face. Even the wrinkles between his brows seemed to have tightened tremendously. Since the moment Bai Luo Yin requested help from him, he had already decided he would help. As for his unreasonable demands, it was purely out of evil delight.

First of all, he wanted to tease Bai Luo Yin and secondly, he wanted to make him give up and back out of this difficult situation. Only then could he have a smooth and peaceful night of sleep so that he could be energetic enough to go to the military base the next day.

Who would have guessed that in the end, he himself was unexpectedly extorted and wronged by Bai Luo Yin instead!!

=====

Early in the morning, Gu Wei Ting received a call from Gu Yang.

“Uncle, are you at the military base?”

Finding it rather peculiar to hear his nephew’s voice so early, Gu Wei Ting quickly constructed a defensible wall in his mind to guard against any sudden attacks. “I’m here. What’s going on?”

“Oh. I have something I wanted to ask you for help with. What do you think, is it more convenient to meet face to face outside, or should I go to the base?”

“You can come over here.”

After hanging up Gu Yang’s call for just a moment, Sun Jingwei knocked on the door and entered to remind Gu Wei Ting that he has a conference to participate in. He was in the middle of getting ready when the call came through. Now, the car for the conference needed to set off at once.

“Oh, there’s a conference today……” Gu Wei Ting’s fingers tapped the desk, “I’ve forgotten about this matter already.”

Having said that he got up and tidied his things while incessantly massaging his temple with his hand. From the looks of it, his mental state did not seem to be well either.

Sun Jingwei stood at the door, his eyes stared straight ahead on the floor at the center of the room the entire time. When Gu Wei Ting shifted his gaze over, Sun Jingwei turns his head around and feigned a calm expression as if he was aloof.  

For the past two days, Sun Jingwei had been quite obedient and guileless. If there were no urgent tasks, he barely entered Gu Wei Ting’s room. And always upon entering, he only spoke a few words before taking his leave. With each time, never once did he mentioned Gu Hai’s situation.

Just as Gu Wei Ting was about to leave, Gu Yang’s call came through once again.

“Uncle, I’m already at the entrance.”

“I have a conference to attend now. You can stay in the guest room and wait for me for a while. Or, you can go directly to my place and wait there.”

Even after he put his phone away, Gu Wei Ting felt a strange aura hovering over him which left him feeling insecure. So as to give himself a slight peace of mind, he dispatched two more soldiers to guard the door. Then, with a stern and powerful glare, he intentionally exhorted to them a few words using a life-threatening tone.

“He can freely enter or exit, but he cannot leave with anyone. Remember, guard the two rooms on either side well. If something happens, I’ll be looking for you two directly.”

“Understood sir!!!” The two soldiers shouted uniformly.

Gu Yang emerged from a luxurious car, wearing an extremely flashy outfit. He had on a sleek black suit that outlined his slim figure, a hat--definitely an expensive one--an oversized pair of sunglasses and a stern and dignified expression to match his overall appearance…...he leisurely walked over from the distance with much grandeur that the four soldiers on duty thought that he was a famous movie star once they saw him.

After he showed his identification card the four soldiers conceded and allowed him to enter, their eyes brimming with envy and respect.

“Did you see? The General’s nephew is really handsome.”

“His nephew huh? I thought it was his son!” The soldier sighed, “He really looks like him.”

“His son is still studying. When have you seen him dressed like this?”

“That’s true.”

Once he entered the room, Gu Yang did not say anything further. The first thing he did was to immediately tear off this ridiculous looking outfit.

So stupid.

He really wanted to look in the mirror and slap himself hard in the face.

After changing out of his clothes, Gu Yang began to walk about until he finally found a small crack on the floor of the living room. He then carefully and cautiously moved it to the side. He took in a deep breathe and made his way down.

At this point, Gu Hai was already the same color as the earth he lay on. This made it hard to distinguish where his body was which caused Gu Yang to nearly stumble over him.

“Gu Hai……” Gu Yang tried to call out, “Is that you?”

Gu Hai cracked his eyes open and tried his best to focus. After a few seconds, he was finally able to make out who the person was in front of him.

“Why are you here?”

His voice sounds broken when he spoke. Just hearing it nearly made Gu Yang think that he had entered the wrong tunnel.

“Don’t say anything. Come out with me first.”

Gu Hai had been hunger stricken for nearly five days now, but even then, he still has the strength to shove Gu Yang to the side. “Go away, I would rather die than submit.”

This stubbornness, even when in the face of adversity, brought a sense of annoyance into Gu Yang’s already roughed up nerves. He shifted closer again. Although he couldn’t see too clearly in this dark and cramped tunnel, Gu Yang narrowed his eyes, just enough to display his displeasure. His eyes began to well with anger then without warning, he slapped Gu Hai in the face.

“You better fucking behave. Bai Luo Yin made me come.”

A dirty and messed up monkey emerged from the tunnel. It was already impossible to see what his clothes had looked like originally and his face--his defined and well sculpted face--was caked in dirt to the point where it was hard to see his facial features. This kind of appearance would make anyone think of an image of a miner in the aftermath of a mining disaster. The miserable condition of those miners who had suffered for a few days until they were rescued by being lifted out of the debris and into the open air was a great portrayal of Gu Hai at this moment.

“Water,” said Gu Hai as he waved his hand in front of Gu Yang.

Gu Yang quickly brought over a cup of water. He propped Gu Hai up with his arm then fed him several big mouthfuls.

After he finished the water, Gu Hai lay back down on the floor again. His eyes were bloodshot, the surface of his lips was covered entirely with frostbite that refused to leave. Unsurprisingly, it was a ghastly sight for anyone to take in.

Yet, even under this circumstance he nevertheless seized Gu Yang’s hand and incessantly asked, “Where’s Yin Zi? How is he?”

Gu Yang yanked the front of Gu Hai clothes forward as he stared at his cousin, eyes brimming rage.

“Look at the state you’re in and you still have the audacity to think about someone else?”

Gu Hai continued to ask, “Yin Zi sent you with a message for me, right?”

Anger rose from Gu Yang’s stomach and traveled all the way to the sensitive skin at the top of his temple. He fiercely grabbed Gu Hai’s head with his hands and smashed it against the floor. “Is there something wrong with your fucking head? Didn’t I tell you that it’s enough to just play around? Didn’t I warn you not to be so serious? Why didn’t you listen to my words? Why?......” Gu Yang’s yelling immediately stopped. He found no other words to speak.

Upon seeing Gu Hai’s head, that was smashed heavily on the floor earlier, had already started to bleed out, Gu Yang stopped his savage actions. He pulled Hai up and held him tightly against his chest. Never once had a complete sense of fear and heartache appeared so impressively on Gu Yang’s face until now.

“Ge, you’ve said it too late.” Gu Hai calmly started to speak, “You should have said that before I changed schools.”

Gu Yang randomly found some food for Gu Hai to eat so that his stomach was well fed for the time being, then he took him into the bathroom. After taking a bath, all of Gu Hai’s limbs cramped up, leaving him sore and even more tired than he was previously. While putting on the change of clothes, he grimaced in pain from each movement.

“Hurry up and stop wasting time.” Gu Yang urged him repeatedly.

Gu Hai grumbled bitterly, “I also want to be faster, but my arms and legs won’t listen to me at all!”

With a cold face, Gu Yang stepped forward and helped Gu Hai into the entire set of clothes that he had worn previously. Normally, Gu Hai is just a bit more robust than Gu Yang even though their statures were about the same. But, after being tormented for several days, his body had lost several kilograms of muscle. Once he was able to get into the clothes, they fit him perfectly.

Gu Yang passed his hat and sunglasses over to Gu Hai. Looking at it, Gu Hai hesitated for a moment.

“Isn’t it too stupid looking? I’m not wearing it.”

Gritting his teeth, Gu Yang fastened the hat on the stubborn fool’s head.

I’m letting you off easy by not wearing women’s clothes here! I’m not making you lose face yet you still want to be picky!

After changing into the clothes, Gu Hai put the sunglasses on and stood in front of the mirror. He looked almost like Gu Yang when he first entered the base.

“Good enough?” Gu Hai asked.

Gu Yang nodded his head in approval.

Just as Gu Hai was about to open the door, Gu Yang suddenly stopped him. “When you’re walking, keep your pace a bit more steady. Here’s the car key, it’s parked at the side of the street.”

Gu Hai remained silent for quite a while before he suddenly asked, “If I go, what’s going to happen to you? What if my dad asks?”

Little bastard, good thing you still have your conscience. Even at this point, you can still think of me.

”Just go your way, don’t worry about me. I have my own way.”

Finally, Gu Hai gave Gu Yang a grateful look before pushing the door open to leave.

Gu Yang quietly stood waiting at the door for a moment, listening to the movements outside.

As he had anticipated, after Gu Hai walked out, those four soldiers did not have any reaction since the similarity was very high. Even if there was an area that was not quite similar, the sunglasses concealed it. Also, coupled with this overwhelmingly flashy get up, it would make it difficult to doubt this person’s identity.  

Gu Hai then escaped in Gu Yang’s car without a hitch.

After some time, Gu Yang sent Gu Wei Ting a text message: “Uncle, I have something to attend to, I’ll head out first. I’ll come and look for you again when I have time.”

Then he changed into Gu Hai’s clothes. He looked around in the room for a while until he finally found a bundle of rope. Once he completely cleared up the crime scene, he takes a bottle of water and the rope and made his way into the tunnel.

----------------------------

Are you addicted?

The original novel is written by Chai Jidan.

We do not own any of its content, we are translators and editors.

[brentrogers]

Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020

Unprecedented does not begin to describe the times we are currently living in. Working from home has become the norm for many Americans across the U.S. Though there are many benefits, including staying safe from COVID-19, working from home also presents its challenges and may be more complex than we once thought.

You may find yourself either working nonstop or not being as productive as you were in the office. Skipping lunch or having a hard time finding the motivation to work and not lounge around. It’s okay to feel this way. No one could have predicted this abrupt shift in our lives. But, there is a way to work from home and be productive, while not letting work consume our day with no time to recharge. Allow yourself to recognize overcoming a pandemic is not something we should be prepared to do. Many people are experiencing the same struggles, you are not alone.

Tips for a successful work-home environment:

Set a Schedule

Working from home should not mean working when you “can.” Set an alarm for waking up and give yourself enough time to get ready, have breakfast, and settle into your work space. While the commute time may be removed from your morning routine, this shouldn’t mean waking up right when you are expected to begin working. If your job doesn’t already have a system in place for logging your work hours, create one for yourself. In the same way, set a time to “get off” work. Get into a habit of ending your work day around the same time daily, if available.

Avoid replying after hours, if possible

Tempted to reply to that work e-mail at 8pm? While every situation should be evaluated independently, decide which tasks need immediate attention and which can wait until regular business hours. If you were in the office, you may not reply until the next day, for example, so why is this different when you’re working from home? Scheduling meetings and phone calls after your regular work hours may lead to added stress, burnout, and relationship and family distress. Unless your position requires you to, you should not make yourself available all the time. There should be a distinction between working hours and “just-being-at-home” hours. Setting these boundaries can help immensely to reduce overextending yourself which can lead to feeling like you’re always working.

Create a daily task list

Our personal life will always have things we need to tend to. While we’re home, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to manage both personal and work responsibilities simultaneously. To avoid getting distracted, create a daily task list and prioritize your duties. During work hours, completing work duties should precede tending to personal business, unless an emergency arises, understandably. Since you do have the convenience of being at home, you may also create an “if-I-have-time” list and add chores to complete in your spare or “down” time, but always keeping in mind that work related tasks should first be completed before trying to do a load of laundry or clean. It’s easy to get distracted at home but creating a task list with your priorities at the top can minimize diverting from your obligations.

Take your lunch seriously

Working through your lunch time can lead to added stress and creates a pattern of neglecting our bodies. Similarly, taking extended lunch breaks can be detrimental to work productivity. Aim to take a 30 minute or 1 hour lunch break, as you would in the office. Set an alarm, if needed, and adhere only to the time you’ve allotted for lunch. Plan for lunch the night before by preparing yourself something in advance or deciding what you’ll eat. This limits extra time spent deciding or preparing something complex while being short on time. During your lunch break, disconnect. Enjoy your nourishing food, go for a walk if available, or do other leisure activities for this limited amount of time. Once you’re done, return to work. Avoid unhealthy snacking throughout the day as a way to compensate for a missed lunch. This can increase unhealthy eating habits and emotional/stress eating.

Schedule breaks

Don’t forget you’re human! We are not wired to sit still for extended periods of time, even less when we’re in the comfort of our home. Schedule mini 5-10 minute breaks throughout the day to collect yourself, away from the computer screen, paperwork, books, etc. This is a good time to stretch your legs, hydrate, get your blood flowing, and then re-focus. Beware of extended breaks that distract us from getting back to work. Do not engage in something that may take longer than 5-10 minutes such as watching an episode of your favorite show, getting in your car to go to the grocery store, or calling your best-friend to chat for 30 minutes.

Say NO to distractions

Added comfort comes with added responsibility. Having distractions available to you and deciding whether they will hinder or help your work is no easy feat. Are you someone that focuses better with some low background music? Only you know the answer to that! However, having the TV on in the background, all the notifications popping up on your phone, and other sounds of our modern world can really distract us while working. Consider setting time limits in your phone settings for social media use, turn off unnecessary notifications altogether, or allow yourself only to check your phone during breaks. If you’re particularly struggling with disconnecting from your phone and focusing on the task at hand, you may set your phone down in another room or turn it off. You can also mute chatty group conversations and unsubscribe/silence notifications from excessive e-mails.

Discuss work boundaries with anyone else in the home 

One of the most arduous things to do may be discussing work boundaries with anyone present in the home during your work hours. This may include your family, roommates, spouse, and even children! Let’s be real, telling your children to behave can be subjective, to say the least. Have a conversation to determine childcare options while you are working, or plan your day accordingly if also providing care while working. Determine your limits and needs for a healthy workspace. Are you able to have someone else in the room or is it too distracting? Do you prefer to socialize during lunch and breaks? Be open and honest about your needs, and set this boundary by being consistent. You may be feeling like you can’t get away from your loved ones rather than looking forward to spending time with them at the end of the day. Try limiting your interaction during work hours and you will find time spent together more rewarding.

If you continue experiencing severe difficulties managing anxiety, procrastination, work related stress, or other symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional who can help you structure your work environment and increase productivity while reducing the negative impact of this new way of life.

The post Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020 first appeared on World of Psychology.

Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020 syndicated from

[whorchataaa]

Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020

Unprecedented does not begin to describe the times we are currently living in. Working from home has become the norm for many Americans across the U.S. Though there are many benefits, including staying safe from COVID-19, working from home also presents its challenges and may be more complex than we once thought.

You may find yourself either working nonstop or not being as productive as you were in the office. Skipping lunch or having a hard time finding the motivation to work and not lounge around. It’s okay to feel this way. No one could have predicted this abrupt shift in our lives. But, there is a way to work from home and be productive, while not letting work consume our day with no time to recharge. Allow yourself to recognize overcoming a pandemic is not something we should be prepared to do. Many people are experiencing the same struggles, you are not alone.

Tips for a successful work-home environment:

Set a Schedule

Working from home should not mean working when you “can.” Set an alarm for waking up and give yourself enough time to get ready, have breakfast, and settle into your work space. While the commute time may be removed from your morning routine, this shouldn’t mean waking up right when you are expected to begin working. If your job doesn’t already have a system in place for logging your work hours, create one for yourself. In the same way, set a time to “get off” work. Get into a habit of ending your work day around the same time daily, if available.

Avoid replying after hours, if possible

Tempted to reply to that work e-mail at 8pm? While every situation should be evaluated independently, decide which tasks need immediate attention and which can wait until regular business hours. If you were in the office, you may not reply until the next day, for example, so why is this different when you’re working from home? Scheduling meetings and phone calls after your regular work hours may lead to added stress, burnout, and relationship and family distress. Unless your position requires you to, you should not make yourself available all the time. There should be a distinction between working hours and “just-being-at-home” hours. Setting these boundaries can help immensely to reduce overextending yourself which can lead to feeling like you’re always working.

Create a daily task list

Our personal life will always have things we need to tend to. While we’re home, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to manage both personal and work responsibilities simultaneously. To avoid getting distracted, create a daily task list and prioritize your duties. During work hours, completing work duties should precede tending to personal business, unless an emergency arises, understandably. Since you do have the convenience of being at home, you may also create an “if-I-have-time” list and add chores to complete in your spare or “down” time, but always keeping in mind that work related tasks should first be completed before trying to do a load of laundry or clean. It’s easy to get distracted at home but creating a task list with your priorities at the top can minimize diverting from your obligations.

Take your lunch seriously

Working through your lunch time can lead to added stress and creates a pattern of neglecting our bodies. Similarly, taking extended lunch breaks can be detrimental to work productivity. Aim to take a 30 minute or 1 hour lunch break, as you would in the office. Set an alarm, if needed, and adhere only to the time you’ve allotted for lunch. Plan for lunch the night before by preparing yourself something in advance or deciding what you’ll eat. This limits extra time spent deciding or preparing something complex while being short on time. During your lunch break, disconnect. Enjoy your nourishing food, go for a walk if available, or do other leisure activities for this limited amount of time. Once you’re done, return to work. Avoid unhealthy snacking throughout the day as a way to compensate for a missed lunch. This can increase unhealthy eating habits and emotional/stress eating.

Schedule breaks

Don’t forget you’re human! We are not wired to sit still for extended periods of time, even less when we’re in the comfort of our home. Schedule mini 5-10 minute breaks throughout the day to collect yourself, away from the computer screen, paperwork, books, etc. This is a good time to stretch your legs, hydrate, get your blood flowing, and then re-focus. Beware of extended breaks that distract us from getting back to work. Do not engage in something that may take longer than 5-10 minutes such as watching an episode of your favorite show, getting in your car to go to the grocery store, or calling your best-friend to chat for 30 minutes.

Say NO to distractions

Added comfort comes with added responsibility. Having distractions available to you and deciding whether they will hinder or help your work is no easy feat. Are you someone that focuses better with some low background music? Only you know the answer to that! However, having the TV on in the background, all the notifications popping up on your phone, and other sounds of our modern world can really distract us while working. Consider setting time limits in your phone settings for social media use, turn off unnecessary notifications altogether, or allow yourself only to check your phone during breaks. If you’re particularly struggling with disconnecting from your phone and focusing on the task at hand, you may set your phone down in another room or turn it off. You can also mute chatty group conversations and unsubscribe/silence notifications from excessive e-mails.

Discuss work boundaries with anyone else in the home 

One of the most arduous things to do may be discussing work boundaries with anyone present in the home during your work hours. This may include your family, roommates, spouse, and even children! Let’s be real, telling your children to behave can be subjective, to say the least. Have a conversation to determine childcare options while you are working, or plan your day accordingly if also providing care while working. Determine your limits and needs for a healthy workspace. Are you able to have someone else in the room or is it too distracting? Do you prefer to socialize during lunch and breaks? Be open and honest about your needs, and set this boundary by being consistent. You may be feeling like you can’t get away from your loved ones rather than looking forward to spending time with them at the end of the day. Try limiting your interaction during work hours and you will find time spent together more rewarding.

If you continue experiencing severe difficulties managing anxiety, procrastination, work related stress, or other symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional who can help you structure your work environment and increase productivity while reducing the negative impact of this new way of life.

The post Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020 first appeared on World of Psychology.

from https://ift.tt/3hGvDvi Check out https://peterlegyel.wordpress.com/

[ashley-unicorn]

Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020

Unprecedented does not begin to describe the times we are currently living in. Working from home has become the norm for many Americans across the U.S. Though there are many benefits, including staying safe from COVID-19, working from home also presents its challenges and may be more complex than we once thought.

You may find yourself either working nonstop or not being as productive as you were in the office. Skipping lunch or having a hard time finding the motivation to work and not lounge around. It’s okay to feel this way. No one could have predicted this abrupt shift in our lives. But, there is a way to work from home and be productive, while not letting work consume our day with no time to recharge. Allow yourself to recognize overcoming a pandemic is not something we should be prepared to do. Many people are experiencing the same struggles, you are not alone.

Tips for a successful work-home environment:

Set a Schedule

Working from home should not mean working when you “can.” Set an alarm for waking up and give yourself enough time to get ready, have breakfast, and settle into your work space. While the commute time may be removed from your morning routine, this shouldn’t mean waking up right when you are expected to begin working. If your job doesn’t already have a system in place for logging your work hours, create one for yourself. In the same way, set a time to “get off” work. Get into a habit of ending your work day around the same time daily, if available.

Avoid replying after hours, if possible

Tempted to reply to that work e-mail at 8pm? While every situation should be evaluated independently, decide which tasks need immediate attention and which can wait until regular business hours. If you were in the office, you may not reply until the next day, for example, so why is this different when you’re working from home? Scheduling meetings and phone calls after your regular work hours may lead to added stress, burnout, and relationship and family distress. Unless your position requires you to, you should not make yourself available all the time. There should be a distinction between working hours and “just-being-at-home” hours. Setting these boundaries can help immensely to reduce overextending yourself which can lead to feeling like you’re always working.

Create a daily task list

Our personal life will always have things we need to tend to. While we’re home, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to manage both personal and work responsibilities simultaneously. To avoid getting distracted, create a daily task list and prioritize your duties. During work hours, completing work duties should precede tending to personal business, unless an emergency arises, understandably. Since you do have the convenience of being at home, you may also create an “if-I-have-time” list and add chores to complete in your spare or “down” time, but always keeping in mind that work related tasks should first be completed before trying to do a load of laundry or clean. It’s easy to get distracted at home but creating a task list with your priorities at the top can minimize diverting from your obligations.

Take your lunch seriously

Working through your lunch time can lead to added stress and creates a pattern of neglecting our bodies. Similarly, taking extended lunch breaks can be detrimental to work productivity. Aim to take a 30 minute or 1 hour lunch break, as you would in the office. Set an alarm, if needed, and adhere only to the time you’ve allotted for lunch. Plan for lunch the night before by preparing yourself something in advance or deciding what you’ll eat. This limits extra time spent deciding or preparing something complex while being short on time. During your lunch break, disconnect. Enjoy your nourishing food, go for a walk if available, or do other leisure activities for this limited amount of time. Once you’re done, return to work. Avoid unhealthy snacking throughout the day as a way to compensate for a missed lunch. This can increase unhealthy eating habits and emotional/stress eating.

Schedule breaks

Don’t forget you’re human! We are not wired to sit still for extended periods of time, even less when we’re in the comfort of our home. Schedule mini 5-10 minute breaks throughout the day to collect yourself, away from the computer screen, paperwork, books, etc. This is a good time to stretch your legs, hydrate, get your blood flowing, and then re-focus. Beware of extended breaks that distract us from getting back to work. Do not engage in something that may take longer than 5-10 minutes such as watching an episode of your favorite show, getting in your car to go to the grocery store, or calling your best-friend to chat for 30 minutes.

Say NO to distractions

Added comfort comes with added responsibility. Having distractions available to you and deciding whether they will hinder or help your work is no easy feat. Are you someone that focuses better with some low background music? Only you know the answer to that! However, having the TV on in the background, all the notifications popping up on your phone, and other sounds of our modern world can really distract us while working. Consider setting time limits in your phone settings for social media use, turn off unnecessary notifications altogether, or allow yourself only to check your phone during breaks. If you’re particularly struggling with disconnecting from your phone and focusing on the task at hand, you may set your phone down in another room or turn it off. You can also mute chatty group conversations and unsubscribe/silence notifications from excessive e-mails.

Discuss work boundaries with anyone else in the home 

One of the most arduous things to do may be discussing work boundaries with anyone present in the home during your work hours. This may include your family, roommates, spouse, and even children! Let’s be real, telling your children to behave can be subjective, to say the least. Have a conversation to determine childcare options while you are working, or plan your day accordingly if also providing care while working. Determine your limits and needs for a healthy workspace. Are you able to have someone else in the room or is it too distracting? Do you prefer to socialize during lunch and breaks? Be open and honest about your needs, and set this boundary by being consistent. You may be feeling like you can’t get away from your loved ones rather than looking forward to spending time with them at the end of the day. Try limiting your interaction during work hours and you will find time spent together more rewarding.

If you continue experiencing severe difficulties managing anxiety, procrastination, work related stress, or other symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional who can help you structure your work environment and increase productivity while reducing the negative impact of this new way of life.

The post Working Hard or Hardly Working? Working from Home and Boundaries in 2020 first appeared on World of Psychology.

from https://ift.tt/3hGvDvi Check out https://daniejadkins.wordpress.com/

[welcometoerinsworld]

HOW LIFE IS GOING:

Life is going better. Things took a nose dive Thursday and Friday, but things are much better now. I was having a really hard time on Friday and posted in a facebook group about it. Didn’t realize someone I knew was in the group and he reached out to me shortly after I posted. I’ve known Josh since I was 15. I dated his best friend Sophomore year and we crossed paths over the next several years, but I haven’t seen him since sometime around 2005-2006, maybe earlier. It’s been a very long time. But, he reached out and we ended up talking for about four hours (!) and I felt a lot better by the end of it. We’ve talked several times this weekend and it’s been really nice.

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE LAST WEEK:

That it’s over? lol. Last week was an interesting week, but it did have some highlights. I really enjoyed reconnecting with Josh and finding out more about what’s going on in his life.

OH! And, then, on Saturday, Josh was messaging me about pizza places in the area. He served part of his mission in Salem and was talking about visiting sometime and I figured he was just wanting to know about good places to eat when he visits. Nope. His questions got very pointed and I eventually asked him what was up with all the weird questions about pizza. His response? “I’m ordering you a pizza. Get over it.” It was so sweet and so kind.

WHAT I DID THIS WEEKEND:

Yesterday I prepared my lesson for today, did a bunch of homework, went for a walk, and talked on the phone a little bit with Josh. Today I got up early to finish my lesson, went through a bunch of photos from when I went home for Christmas a few years ago, went to church, came home, and have been relaxing all afternoon. It’s been nice. I spent some time reading The Count of Monte Cristo outside, which was so wonderful. I miss reading books outside in the sun. Hooray for it finally being warm with no rain!

I also recorded a video talking about the differences between the movie version and book version of The Count of Monte Cristo, but I didn’t post it on youtube. It’s such a dumb video. I was being all weird and going all over the place with it. Probably should have written a few ideas out before making the video. I’ll have to do it again sometime. lol. I keep meaning to record videos, but my life is so boring.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

School being over. lol. I’m also looking forward to going home for my family reunion, but I don’t know if that will happen yet. My boss hasn’t given me an answer on my vacation request, so I have no idea whether I will be able to go or not. I really hope I can. I miss my family. And I haven’t been to my family reunion since 2014. It’s been a long time. I miss camping and hanging out with my family out on the mountain. Pray, cross your fingers, sacrifice spiders, do pagan dance rituals, whatever you have to do. lol. I really want to go home.

These are some photos of the last time I was at the reunion:

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PLANS FOR THE UPCOMING WEEK:

No major plans this week. I took an extra shift on Saturday morning and am babysitting Saturday night, so those are about the only ‘out of the ordinary’ events I have planned. I should probably set aside some time to make a Mother’s Day gift for my mom. haha. I didn’t realize it was next week. I do have a gift that my sister and I went in on together, but I like to do something handmade, too, when I can.

WHAT I’M NERVOUS ABOUT:

Actually, I’m not too nervous about anything at the moment. Tomorrow the panic about midterms will probably hit, but right now I’m more even keel about life and don’t really feel nervous or stressed about anything.

WHAT I’VE BEEN DAYDREAMING ABOUT:

Stuff. lol. I’ve been daydreaming about things I’d like to do this summer, places I’d like to go, and people I’d like to hand out with.

HOW SCHOOL IS GOING:

I cannot wait for school to end. Seriously. This term hasn’t been super hard, but I’m just mentally not in it. Normally the “I can’t do this anymore” doesn’t hit until around Week 6, but it hit during Week 2 this time, so this term has been a struggle. It’s midterms this week, so it’s going to be brutal. *sigh*

As far as grades go, I still have all A’s, so at least I have that going for me. I’m pretty sure midterms will drop two of those down to B’s, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll remember more than I think I do on the tests.

HOW WORK IS GOING:

Work is going okay. Thursday was a bit on the crazy side. Kid 2 did just fine, which was nice. There were a few moments that were borderline behavior that I chose not to mark as behaviors because Kid 2 initially say no, but then did what I asked. The behavior notes say there has to be a request made three times before it is considered a behavior and Kid 2 complied on the third request, so it got close, but didn’t actually hit behavior. The crazy part was the extra shift I took Thursday night.

Have you ever wrestled a table? Well, I can now say I have. This kid decided to get underneath a table (after running around the clinic with me chasing after) and I couldn’t tell if the kid was trying to flip the table or walk around with the table on top or what, but I was all sprawled out holding the table in place with the kid underneath pushing it and tipping it periodically. I have some bruises on my knees and shins from that enjoyable activity. Once that kid get out of the behavior, though, it wasn’t too bad. Lots of questions and such, but no more running and doing weird stuff with a table.

Sadly, binders are back in preschool. Drat. Apparently that rotating supervisor didn’t have the authority to do away with binders, so they’re back. BUT, the good news is that the format has changed. Instead of spending FOREVER going through these super long preschool binders, we pick four pages a day and just do those. So, it’s peer play, group singing, book, four pages from the binder, and craft. Not too bad. We’re all a bit bummed binders are back, but we’re all soooo happy that it’s just partial binders. Hooray!

The super depressing news, though, is that Kid 2 is moving to another state in a month or so, so I’ll have to be assigned to a new kid. Not sure who they’ll assign me to yet, but I’m not super happy about it. Kid 2 and I have a great bond and working with this kid is the only reason I haven’t quit a few times over the last two months. I was seriously going to quit and never go back after that crap went down with my coworker, but I love working with this kid so much that I decided to stick it out and stay. Things have gotten ‘better’ with that coworker, but I may still leave after Kid 2 leaves. I guess I have a lot to think about.

HOW RUNNING IS GOING:

Running is not going very well. lol. I got back out on Tuesday, but the last mile was brutal. Instead of it just being my lower leg and foot hurting, it was all the way from my hip to my foot. I almost called someone to come pick me up and take me home, but didn’t want to bother anyone, so I just limped myself home. Kept wanting to go walk again on Wednesday and Thursday, but decided to take those two days off. Friday, well, Friday was a bust all over the place and I didn’t get out. Saturday, though, I got back out and walked slower. Got my whole route in, but made sure to just go at a leisurely pace and not even try to speed up. I may have to stick with that for the time being to get my leg used to doing this much distance. Feels so lame to have to go slow, but oh well. It happens.

That first little blip on Tuesday was when I first headed out, but then realized I’d left the oven on with lasagna in there, so I had to turn around and turn the oven off. lol. Kinda wonder if that had something to do with my leg hurting later.

WHAT BOOK I’M READING:

Well, I didn’t get a lot of reading in last week, but I did get one chapter read. lol. I read a chapter of Ghosts of War by Brad Taylor. Went to the park by my work to read it and had a lovely time. Then school kinda blew up and I didn’t feel like I had the time to read first and then do homework, so I went straight home from work Wednesday and Thursday. Didn’t have time to read after that. I’ll try again this week, but maybe not right after work. I think this week I’ll come home, do homework, and then take a break to read for half an hour during the evening.

GOALS FOR THIS WEEK:

Reached some of my goals, but not all of them. That’s okay, though. None of these really have a deadline, so I’ll just keep these the same as before.

Fitness

Slowly increase walking pace while maintaining a distance of at least 3.1 miles

School

Get a little ahead with homework

Work

Get Kid 2 to the bathroom more often

Personal

Read at least one chapter of a non-school book

Religious

Be more consistent at reading my scriptures

HOW I DID ON LAST WEEK’S GOALS:

Fitness

Slowly increase walking pace while maintaining a distance of at least 3.1 miles

Kinda did this, kinda didn’t. I maintained my distance, but didn’t increase my pace at all. I actually went much slower with my pace. Oh well. At least I have my distance down.

School

Keep on track with being a little ahead with homework

This did not happen. Again. I mean, I got my homework done, but I’m nowhere near getting ahead. I still have homework that’s due tomorrow left to do and then it’s on the this week’s regular homework. It should be okay, though. It’s midterms, so things will be crazy, but the midterms are timed, which means I don’t have to spend hours and hours trying to get an assignment done. Thank goodness for that. So there’s hope for at least getting everything done by Saturday night.

Work

Get Kid 2 to the bathroom more often

This one actually worked out pretty well. Kid 2 stopped saying “Don’t touch me,” so that was nice. Went to the bathroom each time without issue and Kid 2 even used the toilet with Kayla on Tuesday!!! Hooray! We’re all pretty excited about that. Kid 2 has been doing a lot better about going into the bathroom, so that has made getting to the bathroom more often easier. I’ve been using my ipad and flipping through pictures or showing short videos, which seems to help a lot. I’ll keep up with this and hopefully by the time Kid 2 moves, this will be much, much better.

Personal

Read at least one chapter of a non-school book

Yes! I did get one chapter read of a non-school book! I’m so excited about that! lol

Religious

Be more consistent at reading my scriptures

I switched this up a bit and have been listening to my scriptures while getting ready for work in the morning. It’s nice and seems to make the day flow a bit better.

ISSUES/PROBLEMS/CONCERNS:

Just the usual: having enough time to get what I need to do done this week. I have a 7am staff meeting tomorrow, which I haaaaaaaaaate, but after that I should be able to finish my Quality Management assignment before the end of the day. My hope is to get started on my psychology assignment Monday evening, but I don’t think that will happen. My QM stuff always takes way longer than I think it will, but who knows. I’ve already listened to my hour-long lecture and done some of the prep work. Hopefully it won’t take more than 7 hours to finish. Cross your fingers for me.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW:

Nothing I can really think of.

So, I guess that’s everything. Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

5 Minute Life Update 5/6/18 HOW LIFE IS GOING: Life is going better. Things took a nose dive Thursday and Friday, but things are much better now.